Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Monday, 20 June 2011

Catholicism For Dummies

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catholicism for dummies

Communion For Dummies

Since I’ve moved back home to live in my parents’ basement, I go with my folks to church pretty much every morning.  They go to a Catholic church, which they’ve belonged to for some 30 years, and since they’ve both retired, they attend morning mass every day.  My dad plays golf on Tuesdays, so I took my mom today and afterwards, as I was waiting for my mom, some little lady asked me why I didn’t take communion during the service.  Good question.



 I am not Catholic.  Haven’t been since I joined a Pentecostal Church in 1982 during my second tour in the Air Force while stationed in England.  I knew what communion means to Catholics and since I no longer believed THAT same way, I felt it was important to respect their beliefs and not to be flippant with a sacred part of their religion.  I remember before Jody and I were married in 1990, she came home with me to visit the folks and we went to church with them.  She was also Pentecostal, raised in a pastor’s home and had been in that church all of her life.  She took communion that morning.  I don’t think she understood the difference in the two beliefs that dominate our two churches in regards to communion. I explained the difference in our beliefs about this and she, to her credit, respected my parents' religious traditions and never did that again.   



 Before we got married, we attended a weekend called Engaged Encounter, which is an offshoot of Marriage Encounter.  On the discussion panel, they had a priest, a recently married couple and a couple that had been married many years as presenters.  When it came to a discussion about church, and a church service that they were going to have the following Sunday morning, the priest spoke about the meaning of communion.  The basic gist of what he said was that to be in communion was to be in agreement.  And how can you take part in a sacrament of the church if you don’t agree about its meaning? 



 Protestants and Catholics believe two completely different things about communion.   This is not a minor “shades of gray” difference, but a major fracture that separates us to quite a distance.  Now we no longer call each other heretics and want to burn each other at the stake, but the same differences that caused those disputes are still alive and well in the world today.   Part of our humanity wants everyone else to see things the way we do.  This is normal, and we don’t really need to apologize for it.  But our civility allows others to see things differently and respects those differences.  It’s part of being an adult.



 The major difference in the beliefs of the two camps is while Catholics believe that the bread and wine becomes the actual body and blood of Christ, Protestants believe it is simply a remembrance of Christ’s coming death and resurrection; His body broken and His blood spilled out for our salvation.  In fact, the Catholic mass cannot actually be complete without partaking in communion.  Minor difference?  I don’t think so.  Wars have been fought over this “minor difference”. 



 As a Non-Catholic, I can enjoy the mass without partaking in communion.  There is enough of what I need to fill the spiritual void that I can enjoy it without disrespecting my family and my family’s heritage.  Also, I am there as support for my parents and my experience is not diminished by not partaking of communion.  The celebration of Christ’s memory and splendor is not diminished by the lack of taking communion.  It brings a sense of God’s presence in my life by participating in all the mass even without communion.  I am also reminded of where I began this Christian journey almost 50 years ago.  And right now, this is enough.        


About the Author

A simple man with a lot of experience in several areas in life, love, faith andrelationships



Catholicism for Dummies









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Monday, 4 April 2011

Dummy Games

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dummy games

How to Use Your Xbox 360 Drive to Rip Games

You can use the following guide on how to use your Xbox 360 drive to rip games. You will need the following software to rip the games, wxripper and cloneCD. We presume that you will be having the following hardware, dual layer DVD drive for ripping, Xbox 360 original game.

You can use a regular DVD reader to rip the games. First remove the faceplate off your DVD drive. In order to get the drive face plat off you must use a pin or paper clip in the emergency eject hole. This will allow you to lift it off. Remove all the screws that hold the top plate. You must have the bottom well supported, as it will have no support once the screws are removed. You must remove the top of the DVD drive. Find the clips that are on the sides and press them to lift the top off the drive. This is a very simple step and you just need to be a little careful.

Your DVD drive should now be connected to the computer again and turn on the PC. Press the eject button to make the drive slide out. Load your DVD as you would normally do and once the DVD loader plate retracts, press the DVD a little gently to make it fit to the blue tack. Since the top is off, once the speed of the drive increases, it will throw off the DVD from the plate. The DVD will start reading the content. It is time to use our wxripper in our PC. Click on the magnifying glass to find the magic number. You will be able to find the list of numbers, jump, dummy and copy when you click the magnifying glass. In the third line you will find "Copy" which should be changed to "Dummy". Only by doing this you will be able to rip the games properly. Click the file menu and save your layout.

Open the layout file using notepad and you will find a list in the notepad file. Go to wxripper and open the layout. You must select the layout, which you now edited. This copy will be dummy. Stop the drive now by pressing the stop button. Wait until the disc stops completely before you remove it and replace your Xbox game.

You can now start the drive and press the green arrow button to rip the games. Select the location where you would like to save your ISO and a name for it. The ISO will start ripping the games by reaching various sectors and marking them off. Once the process is completed, you need to close wxripper and eject the disc. These steps on how to use your Xbox 360 drive to rip games may look complicated in the beginning but you will notice that it gets easier when you repeat it a couple of times and you can do this without much effort.

I hope you found my article on How to Use your Xbox 360 drive to rip games interesting?


About the Author

Susan Bennett writes tech related articles and reviews Visit:
www.xbox360helpzone.com
Download Xbox 360 Games, Custom Xtreme Firmware, Software, Media and More with
Everything4360 Premium XBox 360 Dedicated Downloads & Member Only Services
Notice - You are allowed to publish this article in its entirety provided that author´s name, bio and website links must remain active/intact and included with every reproduction.

The Dummy Games 2









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Thursday, 3 February 2011

Blogging For Idiots

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blogging for idiots
Please help- web hosting and blogging advice. Too much info on the net. Confused.?

I don't know where to start with this question & I don't want to sound like an idiot. I would like to start a blog & or website. I have researched a bit and found word press sounds good but I need it to be as easy as possible. For starting a blog say work press do I need to get web hosting? if so why and any recommendations and should it be an Australian hosting co.? I looked at Monster Host, dream host and Go-daddy, they sound o.k. I would like my own domain. I think that comes with the web hosting. As you can tell I need to learn a lot about this. Please use basic language if you answer me so I will understand. I dont mind paying a small monthly fee if I will benefit by doing that.thanks.There is too much info on the net and Its driving me crazy. where do I start?


I'd be happy to discuss options with you. My Yahoo account is open to accept eMail.


Philadelphia, PA Government IDIOTS!









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Saturday, 22 January 2011

Dutch For Dummies

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dutch for dummies

Acupuncture Can Aid Fertility Treatment

It’s estimated that around one in six UK couples have problems conceiving, so IVF fertility treatment is very popular. Recent research suggests that this treatment could be made more effective by combining it with acupuncture, a traditional Chinese medicine, which works by inserting thin needles into specific points of the body to stop pain and control symptoms of illness.


Couples in China have used acupuncture for centuries to promote female fertility, and scientists have been studying its impact on IVF for a number of years. While the results of these studies have generally been mixed, the latest research indicates that acupuncture definitely helps couples to conceive via fertility treatment.


Undergoing IVF treatment is an expensive and stressful process, which has an average success rate of just 15%. Couples without children may be eligible for up to three cycles of IVF on the NHS, but there is often a long waiting list. The cost for one private cycle of IVF is a whopping £2,500, which many people find prohibitive.


The Dutch and US research, which looked at more than 1,300 women and was published in the British Medical Journal, found that every 10 cycles of IVF treatment with acupuncture would result in one extra pregnancy. The overall results indicated that women who had acupuncture were 65% more likely to undergo successful IVF treatment compared with those who underwent dummy versions of the acupuncture treatment, or those who had no extra treatment at all.


Rowan Pelling of the Guardian spoke of her positive own experience of acupuncture and fertility. She said: “After the first treatment, when I felt currents of energy move across my body, something very strange happened. I not only felt as if a portcullis somewhere inside had lifted, but I ovulated for a second time that month, just as my regular period was due, and I fell pregnant with my first son as a result.”


Acupuncture is thought to aid fertility and boost fertility treatments merely because it relieves stress. This may sound simplistic, but a fertility expert recently said that fertility problems could stem from busy couples that just don't have sex enough or stressed out women whose bodies are so frazzled that they’ve started to display menopausal symptoms. However, infertility can also stem from bigger problems such as polycystic ovary syndrome (POS), endometriosis, miscarriages and poor sperm count.


However, Professor Edzard Ernst, a leading alternative medicine expert from the Peninsula Medical School in Plymouth, said that the reliability of these acupuncture trials is dubious. He said: “On the face of it, these results sound fantastic. I would, however, be very cautious as much of the observed effect could be due to a placebo response. IVF may not seem to be "placebo-prone" but it probably is: if women expect it to be helpful they are more relaxed which, in turn, would affect pregnancy rates.”


Sources:

Guardian

BBC


About the Author

Samantha Srillian is a freelance writer, as well as a naturally gifted psychic medium and tarot card reader. She is interested in alternative therapies, angels and spiritual healing.



Dutch For Dummies









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Monday, 29 November 2010

For Idiots

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for idiots

The Idiot Proof Diet Handbook -Idiot Proof Diet Download

Idiot proof diet handbook from fat loss 4 idiots is very popular. I know that the funny name idiot proof diet makes it sound like its a diet for someone who is an idiot. No, this is just a catchy name and you don't have to be an idiot in order to use this diet. Before you consider doing an idiot proof diet download, I'd like you to keep reading in order to understand how this diet works with weight loss and what this diet says about calorie counting.

Idiot Proof Diet Handbook On Calorie Counting

There is a strong belief for those people who are overweight that calories are the enemy when trying to lose weight. This is because of the fact that eating excess calories leads to storing excess fat. This is the major reason as to why some dieters belief that in order to lose weight, You will need to cut down on calories. But according to idiot proof diet handbook, This isn't really true. I like the way this diet handbook explains this idea in detail and why it doesn't recommend calorie counting.

In other words, If a person that is dieting is eating about 2000 calories a day, and he or she decides to cut back 800 calories per day then those 1200 calories will make them lose weight, Right? Well according to the idiot proof diet handbook which is also called fat loss 4 idiots diet this is not the case. The idiot proof diet handbook explains that if a person tries to cut down on calories too much is like starving themselves or skipping meals. This will lead to a dieting plateau or weight loss summit. This is where b, no matter what the dieter eats, He or she will not lose any more weight. This is one of the things you should put in mind as a dieter if you are interested in any kind of diet that involves the counting of calories as a major way to help you lose weight.

With calorie counting, the average person will start to skip meals or eat salads (a common way to calorie count) all the time in order to lose weight. Overweight people who diet this way are always convinced that calories are their enemy. In other words, food is their enemy because it is the one that makes them fat. The major problem with this kind of diets is that a dieter will start to get weak and unmotivated because he or she is starving herself. Starvation diets can leave you miserable, angry and even make you crave for your most favorite foods. For just this reason, It can be hard to lose weight this way.

The idiot proof diet handbook explains that even after a few weeks or days, You cannot lose weight this way. You can end up losing water weight which is not what you are after. Water weight lost can be gained immediately after you stop dieting by starving yourself. When you starve yourself or start to do calorie counting, Your body will begin burning fewer calories each day. You can reach a plateau or weight loss summit dieting this way. This is a point that no matter how many meals you skip, No matter how much you starve yourself, You will not lose any weight. The idiot proof diet handbook says that if you start counting calories, in some cases you may end up losing a few pounds for a week or two but reach a point whereby no matter what you do, You cant lose any more weight.

Idiot Proof Diet Download Or Not?

The idiot proof diet handbook makes it easy for a person trying to lose weight. You don't have to starve yourself in order to lose weight. Another good thing about this weight lose diet is that, You will always be eating a well balanced diet while dieting. Most people fail with doing calorie counting because it is just frustrating, Not when counting calories, But when starving yourself by not eating enough or the foods that you like in order to lose weight. If you are going to diet and lose weight a healthy way, then i recommend that you do an idiot proof diet download below. So do I recommend fat loss 4 idiots diet program? Yes I do because this diet is amazing even though it is not perfect either. The idiot proof diet handbook has other fat loss secrets that you can read on the link below.

The truth of the matter is, Serious weight loss can never be achieved by calorie counting/starving yourself. Serious weight loss can be achieved by giving your body the right types of calories at the correct times of each day. This is something that is explained within the idiot proof diet handbook in details. Your body must always need the three classes of food that starvation diets or calorie counting eliminates or minimizes too much. These three types of calories that are necessary include: Proteins, Carbohydrates and Fats. So go ahead an do an idiot proof diet download if you are serious about losing weight and staying healthy. To begin losing weight, I recommend that you use the idiot proof diet handbook.


About the Author

Erick Christopher is an online weight loss expert.Before you go, You are invited to visit
Idiot proof diet handbook
for a full detailed review. Learn the cons and proof of this idiot proof diet handbook before you consider buying it. To get access to fat loss 4 idiots, Visit
idiot Proof diet download
. Remember to always eat a balanced diet when trying to lose weight through dieting.

Therapy is for Idiots









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Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Portuguese For Dummies

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portuguese for dummies

Stone Carving Tips: Selecting the Right Stone

I have run my own stone and marble workshop for over twenty five years and it became a regular occurrence to have visitors looking to buy a piece of stone or marble to try out stone carving. I have a soft spot for all wannabee artists so I would never charge for the stone, asking instead that they bring back their piece of work so that I could see how they got on.
In all those years no-one ever came back!

Now I know that most people are really decent and would have come back to show me their efforts, so I have put this lack of response down to the fact that most of these novice carvers simply chose the wrong type of materials to start with and therefore never actually managed to finish the piece of work.

Most of the hopefuls I saw over the years wanted to carve marble and so, in spite of my advice to try a softer stone, they trolled off happily with a nice piece of white Carrara or Italian Botticino Fiorito never to be seen again. (by me anyway!)

The simple fact is that stone and especially marble carving is hard work. Unless you choose a soft and relatively easy to work type of stone to start with and you select the right tools, you will easily become discouraged and give up long before you are able to develop the practical skills necessary to work the harder stones and marble.

To help would be stone carvers choose the right type of stone, I have tried to create a kind of Mohs Scale of hardness of the kinds of stone that you are likely to find in your local stone yards.
This is not a scientific scale, it is based not only on hardness but also on the practical workability of the stone. I have assumed that you will be working with hand tools not power tools.
The scale is numbered 1-10. 1 being the softest stone and 10 being the hardest.

1: Cotswold Stone.
Tools: Hardened steel chisels with wooden handles similar to wood chisels used with a Wooden mallet. Steel chisels with steel bulb end, for use with lead mallet or "dummy". Can be sawn with a hand saw just like a timber saw.
Advantages: Very soft to work. all types of chisel will work. Can be cut to size with a hand saw, excellent for practising hammer and chisel technique.
Disadvantages: : Finished carvings will have poorly defined detail, the stone is too coarse to give a sharp finish. Risk of exposing hard shell in the course of work this may spoil the look of the finished job. Too weak to easily make thin panel carvings for example house signs or decorative plaques.
Conclusion: : May be the right material for larger sculptural pieces.

2: Bath Stone.
Tools: Hardened steel chisels with wooden handles similar to wood chisels. Wooden mallet. Steel chisels with steel bulb end, for use with lead mallet or "dummy".
Can be sawn with a hand saw just like a timber saw.
Advantages: : Soft to work. all types of chisel will work. Can be cut to size with a hand saw, excellent for practising hammer and chisel technique.
Disadvantages: : Risk of exposing hard shell in the course of work this may spoil the look of the finished job. Too weak to easily make thin panel carvings for example house signs or decorative plaques.
Conclusion: : Finer grain than Cotswold etc. Better definition of carving. Good choice for first project.

3: Portland Stone.
Tools: Hardened Steel chisels with steel bulb end, used with wooden masons mallet. Fine tungsten carvers chisels used with small steel club hammer.
Advantages: : Memorial grade is a very high quality stone, fine grained good definition of detail. Strong enough to make thin panel carvings for example house signs or number plaques.
Disadvantages: : Availability of finer grade material. Some risk of exposing hard shell in the course of work this may spoil the look of the finished job.
Conclusion: : Finer grain than Cotswold or Bath stone etc. Better definition of carving. Good choice for first project but harder to work than bath stone.

4: Portuguese limestone.
Tools: Hardened Steel chisels used with steel hammer. Fine tungsten carvers chisels used with small steel club hammer.
Advantages: : High quality stone, fine grained very good definition of detail. Strong enough to make thin panel carvings, for example house signs or number plaques.
Readily available from fireplace manufacturers .
Disadvantages: : Not often available in sizes thicker than 30mm.
Conclusion: : Finer grain than any of the previous stones. Better definition for carving. Good choice for first project but harder to work than bath stone.

5: Italian Black Slate.
Tools: Fine steel chisels, tungsten carvers chisels used with small steel club hammer.
Advantages: : Very fine grained very good definition of detail. Strong enough to make thin panel carvings, for example house signs or number plaques.
Disadvantages: : Hard to work, will chip easily while carving. Not for exterior use.
Conclusion: : Good start if you want to carve slate.

6: York Stone.
Tools: Tungsten chisels only, tungsten carvers chisels used with small steel club hammer.
Advantages: : High quality stone, fine grained very good definition of detail. Strong enough to make thin panel carvings, for example house signs or number plaques. Readily available from garden centres.
Disadvantages: : Very hard to work. steel tools will blunt very quickly, Dust is hazardous so wear a mask!
Conclusion: : Not a good choice for novice carvers.

7: Welsh Grey Slate.
Tools: Fine steel chisels, tungsten carvers chisels used with small steel club hammer.
Advantages: : Very fine grained excellent definition of detail. Strong enough to make thin panel carvings, for example house signs or number plaques. Very strong. Readily available. Ideal for exterior use.
Disadvantages: : Hard to work, will chip easily while carving.
Conclusion: : Super quality slate but not for novices.

8: Westmoreland or Cumberland Green Slate.
Tools: Tungsten chisels, tungsten carvers chisels used with small steel club hammer.
Advantages: : Very fine grained excellent definition of detail. Strong enough to make thin panel carvings, for example house signs or number plaques. Very strong.
Disadvantages: : Very hard to work, tends to chip easily while carving. Ideal for exterior use.
Conclusion: : Super quality slate but not for novices.

9: Marble.
Tools: Tungsten chisels only, tungsten carvers chisels used with small steel club hammer.
Advantages: Very fine grained excellent definition of detail. Strong enough to make thin panel carvings, for example house signs or number plaques.
Disadvantages: : Very hard to work.
Conclusion: : Try softer materials first, if you must try marble look for a paper white marble from Turkey, take the advice of your local mason!

10: Granite.
Tools: Nuclear powered laser cutters only!
Advantages: :Super Hard.
Disadvantages: : Ridiculously hard to work by hand.
Conclusion: :Try bashing your own kneecaps with a hammer, it will hurt less!

That concludes "Walkers Scale of Hardness". I have almost certainly forgotten some stones and as the scale is based on my experiences over the years other people may have differing opinions. If you are a stonemason or carver and have a different view, or you have a local stone you think should be included on the list please contact me and I will consider editing or adding to this article accordingly.


About the Author

Steve Walker has been a craftsman in stone and marble for 40 years. Leaving school at fifteen he entered an apprenticeship as an ecclesiastical marble mason with an old London firm, and in his long career have practised as a stone mason, letter cutter, restoration carver, marble mason and carver, fireplace designer and manufacturer.
He has worked in old fashioned traditional stone firms and in modern marble workshops, in almost every type of stone marble and granite.
He is now the sole owner, and craftsman of
StoneEngravings House signs www.stoneengravings.co.uk



Portuguese for dummies #1









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Friday, 20 November 2009

The Idiots Guide To

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the  idiots guide to
I need an idiots guide to the internet, please. I am not connected to the internet at home.?

I have been given a wireless laptop and for the 1st week I was able to get onto an unsecured site to get access to the internet. However, suddenly I am not able to access it although my computer tells me that the signal from this unsecured site is excellent. What am i doing wrong? Please help.


Have you pressed the on switch on your computer?

Yeah then basically go on www.google.co.uk (.com) and search for a guide, its eaaasssy as.


The Idiot's Guide to Getting Girls, Chapter One









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