[simpleaffiliate source="chitika" results="0"][/simpleaffiliate] How do I share my printer with my desktop and a wireless laptop?
I have a hp5780 allinone printer that is hooked upto my desktop. I'm trying to get it so I can print from my wireless laptop without hooking it up to the printer. Both computers are using XP. I'm not set up on a network, but I use a wirless router. Please make your answer computer dummy friendly. Thanks in advance
Hi - this is fairly easy with XP. On the desktop, click Start, Printers and Faxes, right-click on the printer icon, and choose Sharing - it will warn you about security risks, and ask if you want to share it anyway. You will need to give the printer a share name - choose something short and easy like HP or HP5870.
Now you need to know the name of your desktop - right-click My Computer, choose Properties, click on the Computer Name tab, and memorize the "Full Computer Name" - I'll use "bobspc" as an example.
Now go to the wireless laptop, click Start, Run, and enter:
\bobspc
where bobspc is your desktop's Full Computer Name. It should open a window that has HP5780 (your share name from above), right-click that, and choose Connect.
Since both PC's are XP, the laptop will load the driver from the desktop PC, and you should be good to go.
If this fails, you go back to the Computer Name tab, and check the "Workgroup" entry - the workgroup should be the same for both the desktop and laptop. Click the Change button if you need to change one - good luck
[simpleaffiliate source="chitika" results="0"][/simpleaffiliate] Dog Training for a new solo owner??????????
My family has given me a few books for dog training. One is Dog training for dummies and the other is Caesars' Way by Caesar Milan. I want to try training my german shepherd/lab mix by myself but worried it might be too late....she's 1 1/2 yrs old and I got her a few months ago. I really just want her to be able to go to places with me like a friends house and not worry that she is going to bite people....as you can tell this recently happened but pretty sure it was just that she was scared and had never been to my friends house before.
Its never to late to train a dog...
You'll notice with reading about training that there are many different types and ways ppl prefer to train.
I need help with data handling to show in tables (Portlet Factory)?
I am using Java and XML to code a project and I'm facing a problem... I am using SQL to pull a list of cities... the data shows up like this:
Atlanta Raleigh New York Denver San Francisco London
but I want it to look like this Atlanta New York San Francisco Raleigh Denver London
How can I do this without having to create a dummy table in SQL, since I did this but there are some cases where my query includes less Cities, for example Atlanta New York Raleigh Denver
and I face a problem since I cannot make the empty columns disappear... just in case, I'm building this with Websphere Portlet Factory
hey! it was your "just in case" that made me answer!
if it's going to wind up on the web, it is formatted according to html rules! as long as it's in the same tag, the cities will be flowed and formatted as fits best.
Atlanta Raleigh New York Denver San Francisco London
is displayed as
Atlanta New York San Francisco Raleigh Denver London
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[simpleaffiliate source="chitika" results="0"][/simpleaffiliate] [simplecontent lang="" source="flickr"]astrophysics for dummies[/simplecontent] Any good sites for astrophysics?
I am a dummy but i like physics so please provide me with a link to an understandable site.(not wikipedia)
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[simpleaffiliate source="chitika" results="0"][/simpleaffiliate] [simplecontent lang="" source="flickr"]options trading for dummies[/simplecontent] Looking for book explaining options trading?
have an online trading account and wish to get involved in puts and calls.something like Option trading for dummies would fit the bill
trading in options geoffrey chamberlain
options trading for dummies for beginners
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I have a copy of photoshop cs4 but have not had time to learn how to use it. I was browsing online for a book to help me but have found a few different ones. I was searching for cs4 for dummies but also found one called cs4 all in one for dummies. Does anyone know which book would be better for a photoshop beginner?
lynda.com is only 20USD per month and well worth it - probably very cheap in your currency
Photoshop For Dummies: Episode 2 - Part 2
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Everybody wants their homes to be prevented from all dangers. There are many different types of home security products in the market. High technology is used for this industry. You can choose the best one to meet your demands. And there are some home security equipments you should have to fit the basic security needs. This article will talk about this kind of products.
The first equipment you should have is a fire sensor or smoke sensor. Fire is the most important home security threat you should pay attention. Installation of fire sensor can protect your house from fire disaster.
The second equipment for home security is a dog. Dogs are not only a pet but also can be a home security equipment. A barked dog can protect your home from strangers. Not only will the dog alert when strangers are in the area, but a large dog can even be trained to stop and secure a home invader until the police arrive. Small dogs like terriers may not be very good at attacking, but they often make tremendous noise that can alert you and your family that an intruder is nosing around your home. If you have no time to raise a real dog, you can try to buy an Electronic Watchdog, which is never needs foods, water, taking for a walk and never sleeps! With his electronic radar eyes, Rex can "see" through thick doors, walls, and glass and will sound you if any stranger comes.
The third equipment you should have is security cameras. With improved technology, wireless home security cameras are now easy for almost any homeowner to install with a minimal amount of effort. Before you install a wireless home security camera system, double check to make sure that you have adequate lighting and that you place the receiver close enough to the camera to receive beamed information. As we know, security cameras are expensive, not everyone can afford them. But there are also another kind of security cameras that you can have. This is a dummy camera, which looks like a real security camera, but it do not record any video. A burglar can not distinguish a dummy camera and a real one. So it can also prevent crime.
The fourth equipment you should have is home security alarm system. Home security alarm systems often do more than alert you and your neighbors of an intruder. For maximum security, connect your home security alarms to immediately notify the security company, police and/or fire department an emergency situation. Depending on the level of security and size of your home, the cost installing a home alarm systems varies.
Home security equipments are easy and simple to install and use. No homeowner should take their home security for granted — for the sake of their family and their valued possessions. If you want to get more information about home security products, please visit: http://www.security2020.com
About the Author
Ava is a part-time writer, researcher and web developer for home security matters. Visit www.security2020.com to learn more about this subject (Home Security).
safe dating network member
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[simpleaffiliate source="chitika" results="0"][/simpleaffiliate] What is the best doctor for a woman?
Ob-Gyn? Right? Well, i have always have gynecologist since about 13 years old, but now i have to choose a new doctor because i have different insurance since i got married, & i was wondering what would be best for a women. Does a doctor who does general practice know the same thing a gynecologist knows? Does a gynecologist know about anything other than things about the female body, like will they know about things like diabetes or anything other diseases. I know all doctors have different fields that they practice in. So I want to choose a doctor that would be in my best interest. Like if I have to go to the doctor and I didn't know what was wrong with me, I wouldn't want to go to a doctor who only knows about women's issues, I would want to go to a doctor who knows about more than just women's health. I'm not stupid or a dummy or anything, i've just had the same doctor for a long time, and never really had to do anything like this. Thank u! Please no rude comments.
a family practicioner or GP (generl practicianer) is the first line of defense. If they feel after examining you and/ or tests that you have a specialized illness requiring a specialist, they will refer you be it a urologist, ear, nose and throat dr, othopaedic doctor or whatever I could be worng on this but a specialist generally has more training than a family or general doctor in a specialized field.
Diabetes för Dummies.wmv
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Network marketing is something that is becoming very popular with people who own their own business. However some people find it very difficult to be a part of and become very confused about it. It's not as hard as it seems and pretty much anything with the will and dedication can become successful with network marketing. This article will give you all the basic knowledge and information in the form of network marketing for dummies.
Now let me get this straight, when I say, "network marketing for dummies", and I don't mean that you are a "dummy". Dummy is a term that is commonly used for people that don't know the basic facts when it comes to a certain subject. You know all those books you see in the store that have a certain topic and then "for dummies" after it, this is what this article is like.
Network marketing is a business distribution model that allows a parent multi-level company to market their products to consumers by means of relationship referrals. It's a type of model that helps and teaches you to become successful so that in the long run you will turn into an independent person capable of running your own business without the help of a network marketing company.
There are several network marketing companies out there that are available for your help. Most of them give you training and proven tools so that you can become successful. The compensation for each of these companies can be very different as well. When you are shopping around for a network marketing company, it is helpful to do a little research about the company.
Network marketing is such an important part of running a business. It applies several marketing strategies to help your business become successful and for you to get compensation for it. The key to being successful with network marketing is to find the right approach to it. A successful marketing strategy must combine a business' goals and marketing aims and guidelines into one harmonious effort. Network marketing is a perfect idea for someone who is looking to market their business, product or service and just don't know how to do it. It gives you all the information and help you would ever need to learn and become successful. Then in turn the "dummy" can turn into someone who is very knowledgeable about the topic and can maybe teach others about it and how beneficial it can be.
About the Author
Louis-Charles Martel invites you to visit his home business ideas website today. If you are considering starting a internet marketing business please be careful because there are many scams out there. The opportunities on his site have passed an intensive screening process and have proven themselves to be legitimate and effective. Please click here now to learn more : ===> http://www.eHomeBiz-Ideas.com
WAN Optimization - How You & Your Network Can Benefit
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[simpleaffiliate source="chitika" results="0"][/simpleaffiliate] My friend wants me to take pics at her wedding?
I am an aspiring photographer and my best friend is getting married in October. I know a bit about photography and I am actually investing in a new camera (possibly a Canon Rebel??). I want to take the best pics that I can for her. I am also doing the bridal shoot in September. Does anyone know any websites that are specifically wedding photography help? I really need like an "Idiots guide" or "... for Dummies" Thanks so much
I would go with the Canon 20d or 30d. More expensive but so worth it. Check ebay for online stores with great prices. Go through wedding magazines and check out poses and facial expressions. You should ask if she's looking for more formal poses or candid shots. I'm hoping that you know photoshop pretty well. Good pictures take some editing. There is a digital photography for dummies book. Good reference guide for the basics. You could also look at some advice on www.photographytips.com.
As far as the advice from others about not doing it, the only way you're going to get better is to shoot. Not just practice either. You need to be on actual events. If you can, find a mentor, someone who is willing to take you along on some events and just let you shoot with them. That's how I got started. I tagged along on some portrait sessions, engagement pictures, weddings, interviews with prospective clients, anything I could. I watched a lot and shot a lot. I watched how he dealt with people, how he handled large groups, pushy relatives, how he answered questions, composed shots, I asked lots of questions about lighting and posture. I was fortunate that he wanted to teach me all of this and had loads of patience and it helped me greatly. It helped with my skills, confidence, and love of the business and of photography. If you want it, you have to chase it and keep chasing it until you are good enough to catch this dream and run with it.
You need to let your friend know that you are not a professional YET. That way she's not going to expect something from you that you can't give.
Good luck!
The John Mitchell idiot's guide to event photography
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IvyBot Forex Download - How To Set IvyBot Forex Robot ?
In the sphere of the humankind of robots, the Forex robots with the aim of is, near formerly was a robot called automobile Pilot. Single daylight this automobile Pilot came to the attention of a assemblage of Forex gurus. These gurus were examining the Forex automobile Pilot to determine the argue it botched to make a profit as soon as making a trade in the sphere of real-time. In the sphere of the process of analyzing this robot, the gurus came up with a solution. In the sphere of the nine weeks to be a consequence, the gurus compiled a new to the job robot. The character of with the aim of new to the job universe was IvyBot and with the aim of is how the Forex Ivybot came to take place. The IvyBot underwent a string of back trying with the aim of was to survive two years. As soon as completion of the trying was finished, the IvyBot was released to the civic.
Near is nothing new to the job going on for using robots on the foreign currency marketplace (Forex). These robots are a form of the software with the aim of has been in the sphere of mistreat used for years. It was the hefty banks and the Forex departments with the aim of used these robots. It was not until fresh time with the aim of the robot software programs became to be had to the civic. A well brought-up crux going on for the IvyBot is with the aim of it is uncomplicated to install and uncomplicated to mistreat. You are assumed to take place able to start trading in the sphere of the Forex currency marketplace with because miniature an amount of single cash.
This all sounds effortless and uncomplicated for the reason that it is really effortless and uncomplicated. However, being able to work out this uncomplicated and effortless comes to you lone in the same way as studding the currency marketplace. The simplicity is further obvious in the same way as you discover, because they say the ins and outs of the currency marketplace. In the same way as you understand what did you say? Shock the current measures can take part in on the marketplace and in the same way as you understand the theory behind the functions of these robots, you choice take place eager to invest. In the sphere of brief, discover all going on for the currency marketplace earlier you invest your money. It is well brought-up to crux pass? by the side of this stage with the aim of single ought to in no way invest slightly further money with the aim of single can afford to lose. Take place aware in the sphere of your money matters and mistreat your regulate not your feelings.
IvyBot claims to take part in extraordinary winner duty, and the records appear to back this up. Many folks allege with the aim of IvyBot is the top Forex trading robot they take part in constantly used. However, as soon as you feel you are eager to invest money, verify a dummy explanation with the Forex marketplace and test the robot of your option. Earlier you work out slightly investing, act with the dummy explanation so, you choice obtain used to the robot and you choice not lose money while learning to activate your favorite robot. Formerly you take part in finished this, you can decide if this robot is the top or else something to boot...
I Love to write articles about Global forex Market conditions Over 10 Years, Here I'm Going to tell My User Experience With IvyBot Reviews and Testimonials
String Theory For Dummies
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[simpleaffiliate source="chitika" results="0"][/simpleaffiliate] How fast can I learn AutoCAD?
I'm highly proficient in other graphic programs such as GIS, Illustrator, Photoshop, etc. Is it possible for me to pick it up if I spend the entire weekend intensely studying it using a For Dummies book or the AutoCad Bible tutorial? I was taught how to draft by hand. I was just never taught this program. Does this help w/the learning curve? Also, not really trying to learn the ins and outs. I just want to create a model block scenario w/a few 3d buildings and streets.
Yes, you can get proficient at it, but I'd recommend getting something a bit better than a "Dummies" book. That's nothing against them, but certain books are better for understanding a software program.
My company is actually a reseller of Autodesk software. We teach 2 day AutoCAD courses using the books from Ascent.
I'm aware that at $100 you had better be serious at learning the softeware, but for two days of learning you won't find a better book to learn the program. Give yourself 3-4 days and you'll be able to do most of the basics and do them better (maybe slower due to experience, but still technically more correct) than many people that use it every day.
The AutoCAD Bible is a great book, but it's not the ideal for learning the program in a rush. It's the Bible because its such a good reference tool.
BUT... for just doing 3D buildings the AutoCAD Bible can work fine. But as an individual that also has a degree in Architecture, I can tell you in order to do good architectural 3D work it's going to take some time and practice to do it well. Programs like AutoCAD Architecture and Revit are actually better than base AutoCAD at this process.
The Bible for Dummies
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[simpleaffiliate source="chitika" results="0"][/simpleaffiliate] [simplecontent lang="" source="flickr"]writing childrens books for dummies[/simplecontent] If you can't understand the Bible, what book should you read?
I know there is a bible for dummies, but what i'm looking for is the Bible written more simpler. Is there such thing? Or am I suppost to get some kinda cliff notes for the bible and try to figure it out on my own? Anyone know. I did look up the bible for dummies but it is not he bible written simpler it is telling.... Where did the Bible come from? Who wrote the Bible? How is the Bible put together? Should I get a childrens bible? This has nothing to do with IF I can read or not. It's funny how people judge so fast over a question on YA. Pretty sad! If you have nothing wise or nice to say you obviously need to go find God. Get some Jesus in your life...... then we can talk.
If you are wanting to know God and to have a relationship with Him, the Bible is the book to read. I completely understand that it can be complicated and hard to understand at times, but sometimes you just have to concentrate and re-read. Also, pray about it. If you are really wanting to understand it, the Holy Spirit will be there for you. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.
Jeff Crosby on Illustrating a picture book for children
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Planned trips are the best ones. No? Here’s a list you can refer to before setting out for your next adventure. It surely will come in handy, saving you from the predictable hassles.
Start your trekking training early
It is always beneficial if you start training for your trekking/biking expeditions well in advance. It is very essential to train yourself before the real trek. Focus on building up calf strength and toning of shoulders and torso. You need to de-condition your body and re-condition it again to suit the new temperaments.
Keep feeding yourself
Before you start the real trek have a dummy training session where you get yourself into the habit of eating at regular intervals. This is necessary in order to get used to the feeling of food while on the go. The more you walk, the more energy you need. Maintain your energy levels by feeding yourself at regular. Do not feed large portions but rely on energy bars or fruits or some light snacks.
Drink Water
Water is the Elixir of life or so it is believed. But you will find the importance of it once you are high up in the mountains. Strenuous treks tire you out and in no time you will be dehydrated. Hence it is very essential to carry bottles and keep sipping water.
Health Precautions
People suffering from any serious condition (high/low blood pressure) or are under medication should consult doctors before going for trekking trips.
Asthma
You can trek even if you are asthamatic. In fact the clear air of mountains will help you feel better. Make sure you carry you inhaler all the time with you. Let your friends know in advance what to do incase you have a minor attack.
High blood pressure (hypertension)
If you are the kind who needs to take a pill to keep the blood pressure under control then make sure you carry your dosage along with you. If needed do consult a doctor before starting your trek.
Immunizations
You can get yourself immunized before taking off for the Indian mountains. Here’s a list which isn’t mandatory but suggestible.
Hepatitis A: Contaminated water is a reason. Harvix is the vaccine and a full course of it is advisable which gives 10 years of protection.
Hepatitis B: Can occur only if you indulge in unsafe sex. Use protection or get vaccinated in advance!
Typhoid is not so prevalent in India but some cases are said to have occurred in Nepal. It is easily curable but care needs to be taken which includes proper amount of rest.
Malaria: Major cause being mosquitoes, contaminated water and food. Fever, diarrhea, vomiting and headaches are the symptoms of Malaria. If you experience any of these in your first week of travel in an malaria-prone area you should cosult a doctr immediately.
Medical insurance
Trying getting yourself a combined travel and medical insurance policy.
Gear up
Your bag should have multiple pockets, comparatively big zipper closure and comfortable broad shoulder straps. When properly fixed, the bag bottom ought to rest on your waist and the top of the bag should be a hand-width underneath the bottom of your neck. Make sure you have enough space between thumb and front of shoe. When you walk a lot the bigger shoe size helps you when the feet swelling.
Bag and essentials
More spacious the bag, the better it is. Rucksacks with lots of pockets, shoulder straps and big zipper closure are perfect. Keep in mind that the bag bottom ought to rest on your waist and the top of the bag should be a hand-width underneath the bottom of your neck
Shoes
Shoes are what will bear your burden through out the adventure. So selecting correct shoes is very essential. Any good sports brand will be able to suggest you with good trekking shoes/boots.
Socks
Most of the trekking places are cold. So warm clothes and thick woolen socks should be selected for trekking. Woolen blended with synthetics is useful because it prevents moisture from getting out of the feet.
Fitness
If you are visiting high altitudes it is advisable to go for medical check ups. Physical fitness is very important as you constantly gain height everyday of your trek. Nausea and shortness of breath are common problems for which is recommended to carry medicines.
Acute Mountain Sickness
As you trek above 2500 m there are chances of you getting altitude sickness. The air pressure goes down drastically which means there is less of oxygen in the air.
The symptoms of AMS are as follows
Urge to sleep for more than 10 hours
Having wild/vivid dreams
Momentary shortness of breath which might make you think you suffer from asthma.
As precautions you need to first understand that altitude sickness is not due to altitude alone but it depends on how speedily you ascend that height. The slower you go the less you suffer. It is very essential to give your body time to adjust with the environment. Take halts at different altitudes until your body has adjusted to the height. Take proper sleep every night.
Other essentials
Other things which you must carry along are winter attires, first-aid kit, compass, Swiss Army Knife, water bottle, space blanket and topographic map.
Precautions for foreigners
Special permits are not necessary for trekking in Indian Himalayas though there are certain restricted areas. It is compulsory to carry your passport while you are in such domains. Special permissions are needed 6 months prior to the hiking expeditions through the Indian Mountaineering Foundation. It is also advisable for you to take immunization against diseases as safety precautions.
About the Author
THRILLOPHILIA deals with adventure-related activities on a pan-India level. Be its Rafting in the Tons or in the Kali River at Dandeli, Camel Safari in Ladakh or in the Thar Desert, Trekking around Bangalore or Ladakh, Scuba Diving in Lakshadweep or Andaman, we cater it all. We also have some fabulous Biking trips, Caving, Wildlife, Paragliding and many more adrenaline pumping adventure sports. India, having varied landscapes happens to be one of the finest destinations in the world for adventure.
Raging Grannies_Health Insurance Industry Convention, Moscone West, June 16. 2011
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There are no established rules for choosing a name for your business. The following points, however, may serve as a guide when you need to christen one. 1. You need to understand the business activity you are involved in. Get a clearer picture of what you want to achieve, offer or sell. This also involves having the "guts" or conviction that what you want to venture into is right for you. 2. You need inspiration in choosing a name that is "meant" for you. Business names are not "spur of the moment" creations. An understanding of your business activity is the gateway to choosing the most suitable name, but inspiration gives you the best idea. Organize a brainstorming session with your colleages, friends and family. In some cases, ideas for a name come after a deep sleep or times of being alone - meditating. 3. Have a Thesaurus or at least, a dictionary as guide. List words that have a relationship with your proposed business activity. Compare and contrast the words you have chosen to find the ones with the perfect match. Single words are increasingly difficult to use as business names; therefore, you may have to try word combination. But be careful when doing this and don't dismiss any idea that comes your way. 4. Take note of possible meanings, emotional connotations, and spellings. Marty Blalock noted that products have failed overseas sometimes simply because a name may take unanticipated meanings in translation. Example is the Olympic copier "Roto" in Chile (roto in Spanish means "broken"); the Chevy Nova in Puerto Rico (no va means "doesn't go"); the Randan in Japan (randan means "idiot"). Naming a product and a business is communication at its simplest level. 5. Welcome an opportunity for criticism. Be open to criticism, especially when it is a constructive one. At times, people you least expected have better ideas that would make you stand out. Don't crucify anyone for not "buying" your idea of a name. Instead, ask for his or her opinion then add it to your list. 6. You can't authenticate the availability of your new name until the name registry says so. Business naming procedures differ from country to country. So you need an understanding of how the one in your locality works. Seeking the expertise of professionals is advisable. 7. Goodluck! About the Author
Ayokunle Bankole is the CEO of Loud Media Company with an operational client-service base in Lagos, Nigeria. As a passionate and creative writer, he helps small businesses to communicate effectively using simple but efficient marketing tools and strategies. He is an expert in Business Naming, Brand Positioning, and specialized Business Writing (advert copywriting, sales letter and proposal, direct mailing, web content, speech, newsletter, featured article and copy editing).
Ayokunle is well-grounded in the liberal art and a member of the prestigious Nigerian Institute of Public Relations (NIPR). He shares his wealth of experience on motivation and small business success among specialized groups, and has authored several published winning business articles to include, "The Essence of a Well-Positioned Brand," "Top 10 Mistakes Entrepreneurs Make When Choosing A Business Name," and "Will Nigerian Public Relations Increasingly Get a Seat in Corporate Nigeria?" Visit his blog at www.loudmediacompany.blogspot.com
Complete Idiot's Guide to Learning Spanish On Your Own
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What is the idea to install a security camera? Surveillance? Protection? If your answer is any one of the following, you're in all probability wrong. This is simply because surveillance cannot be achieved without protection and vice-versa. Take this, if you're a store owner and your camera does just the surveillance and is hidden from the public view, you can't do anything that record the videos and pray that the police does a decent job!
The idea of surveillance and protection is to deter any suspicious activity from happening in the first place; then comes nabbing the offender and other related things. The best way to deter wrongdoers in the first place is by using a dummy camera. This is an innovative and cheap product and does the job to your satisfaction.
Places you can install dummy cameras
Parking Lots
House gardens
Entrance areas of buildings
Camera Types Available
The dummy cameras replicate the real cameras very well and come in all the basic camera types. They are the dome and the box cameras. Three of such products are:
Box Camera Housing Dummy Camera
Dome Dummy Camera
Dome Dummy Camera with Flashing LED
Specifications of the Box-type Camera
Flashing LED
Video Cable that is real – the only part which is real and working in the whole camera!
All weather type strong and lightweight aluminum housing
Metal mounting brackets that are fully adjustable
1 C battery needed to operate the ‘oscillating' feature of the camera. Advantages of the Dummy Camera
The dummy camera does more work than you can even imagine. It is a must-have for the following reasons.
It is a cheap gadget to have installed.
It is easy to install and without any hassles.
It looks exactly like the real thing.
It deters crime from happening.
If you're a shop owner but do not want to spend a lot on security solutions, such a dummy camera is ideal for you. The professional dummy cameras do the best job, because they resemble the closest to the real cameras. The dome dummy camera is the best dummy camera that you can come across. You won't be able to even imagine that they are dummy!
Cons
Inspite of being a crime deterrent, there can be some serious issues with dummy cameras.
They can make a person believe that they are in a secure area and thus will be more open with their valuables.
If at all, an actual crime takes place, you won't have any proof of the incident with you.
This is a good buy if you are serious about deterring the criminal but at an unbeatable cost!
About the Author
For more information about dummy cameras contact D Day at DDaySecurity.com where they have quality dummy cameras. They have many personal and home security products to use in protecting you, your family and your home. Just let them know if there is any way they can help you in your search for the right protection products.
A/c 4 dummies
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I've been doing research on buying homes. I've never bought a home before. I have about $30,000 saved up to buy a house. I want to invest my money to buy a home, remodel it so I can sell for a higher price. I believe the term is I want to "flip" a house. I've been researching for the past few days. I'm really confused. I need "buying houses for dummies", lol. And yes, I know I have to wait at least six months before reselling. I'm very patient. I can wait years for the market to increase the selling price. I'm in no hurry to sell, but I AM in a hurry to buy. Any advice, web links, phone numbers or anything at all would be great. THANKS!
When I was looking for my first house to flip, I contacted renovation experts (they offer free remodeling price estimates) and one of them ended saving me a lot of money because turns out the remodeling that house needed was too much to make a profit on the house.
What you need to do is start looking at houses, write what you see on a piece of paper, and then contact contractors so you will know what you are getting yourself into. Here is the link I used: http://best-offers-online.com/estimates
Good luck!
One Minute Flipping Houses for Dummies
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A civilized student revolution is the place to start.
As the quality of our public schools and Universities plunge, the academic morons chant endlessly the three big lies; that the problem is the government doesn't provide enough money, classes are too large and, of course, the really big problem is the parents! They say if lazy parents would just teach their unruly children a little respect and discipline they would behave in school - riiiiiiiiiiiiight.
Most of you will probably agree that you can get away with a lot more at school than you can at home. If the blame can be laid at the feet of the parents it is only because they have allowed the schools to usurp their parental responsibility. Mychal Massie agreed that parents need to step up and take a larger role in managing their children's education when he said, "Not every public school is bad, and not every private school is good. I agree that, thanks to Jimmy Carter's creation of the Department of Education, we now have commissioned centers of agitprop, i.e., government schools that have taught state-sponsored liberalism and misinformation for nearly four decades. I still argue that this only takes place because parents have abdicated their responsibility for the education of their children." Amen.
In good faith, most parents have assumed the schools were in fact teaching their children the skills needed to go out into the world and function as responsible productive members of society. They believed in their hearts that the schools were teaching their children the same skills they were taught. Historically the foundation of K-12 education in the United States has been the three "Rs" - reading, writing and arithmetic (for this generation: that is an old tongue in cheek joke: "reading, ‘riting & ‘rithmatic"). Unknown to most parents, these basics have been steadily supplanted in recent years with a "progressive curriculum" emphasizing social and political issues, with devastating results. The academic skills of the average American student has been seriously degraded. You students are the ones who have been shortchanged by the very people entrusted with your education.
Without a basic competency in reading, writing and ciphering it will be difficult for you to learn much of other subjects like geography, literature, political science, biology, or anything else, yet our schools continue to obsess on socio-political indoctrination at your expense. They have become propaganda mills rather than true centers of learning. They are much more interested in pushing their nanny-state political ideology and sexual values than teaching skills that will help you succeed in life. As American students continue a 40 year decline in academic achievement our schools continue to sacrifice real life skills on the altar of liberal ideology.
Outside of a few breakout schools providing exceptional schooling - schools producing students consistently ranking high internationally - the trend for several decades has been a decline in the scholastic ability of American students compared to foreign students. Our world ranking has dropped like a stone and yet we continue to graduate students lacking basic remedial skills.
American schools which once led the world have now fallen behind many third world institutions. Incredibly, the more time American students spend in public school the more they fall behind the rest of the world. As fourth graders, U.S. students rank in the top four or five countries in the world, but as they continue on through the system they fall farther and farther behind. By the time they graduate from high school their international ranking has dropped below another forty or fifty Countries. And this gap continues to widen right on into college.
The unabashed educational establishment has all but abolished teaching its charges the skills necessary to function as independent and productive members of society in favor socio-political indoctrination. Buzz words, talking points and sound-bites that promulgate liberal ideology have replaced the traditional curriculum.
Take "diversity", the new uber-concept. The obsession with "diversity" is a perfect example of the institutional academic retardation rampant in today's public education system. If you attended a public school during the last ten years or are presently a student at most universities then you have been programmed like Pavlov's dogs to respond positively to this word. Teachers, professors, schools and universities boast endlessly of their commitment to "diversity". And now after being captive since early childhood to these academic lemmings, you know in your heart that diversity is "good", but is it always?
Look it up. Diversity literally means "different or varied". It implies a range of differences. Is a range of differences always a good thing? Or can it sometimes prove an obstacle to success? Have you ever heard that too many cooks spoil the broth?
A diversity of elements in a metal alloy can give added strength or flexibility. On the other hand a diversity of elements in a metal alloy can also lead to structural weakness or too much rigidity. Exactly what influence the diversity of elements has on the alloy depends on what those "diverse" elements are and how they interact with each other. Just the fact that the elements are "diverse" has little or no bearing at all on the quality of the alloy.
A diversity of opinions in a political forum may lead to a strong consensus as well as an ideological impasse. On other occasions it can lead to chaos or anarchy. A diversity of political opinion can be desirable or make it impossible to forge a cohesive effort - again, depending on the nature of the diversity of the elements involved.
I seem to remember an ancient story of a great tower being built that was halted after a great deal of construction due to the chaos caused by the many different languages spoken by the workers. Communication became so difficult the entire project was abandoned. Apparently a diversity of languages was not a plus in the Babel construction industry.
Try an experiment - hold a pencil with one hand firmly gripping each end. Bend it until it breaks - not too difficult, huh? Now bundle as many of the same uniform size as you can comfortably hold and try it again. This time it will not be so easy. If your bundle is sufficient you probably will not able to break it. One pencil is easy to destroy, but many together are strong enough to withstand the effort to break them because there is strength in unity.
Now take it one step further and bundle up a couple different size pencils, a piece of celery, a straw, two red vines, a dog turd and a breadstick and try to break it. That is a pretty diverse bundle and yet you can probably break it easily - Not much strength in that diversity.
Next, bundle a couple of different sized pencils, a piece of hard rubber hose, a plastic ruler, an iron rod and a steel rod (roughly the same dimensions as the original pencil) and try to break it. You will probably be unsuccessful because there is more than sufficient strength in this diversity.
So diversity by itself is neither good nor bad. It is nothing more than the definition of a range of differences. Allow me to repeat that for students who have been brainwashed into believing diversity in and of itself is a panacea: Diversity by itself is neither good nor bad. It is nothing more than the description of a range of differences.It is what that diversity brings to the process that defines its value.
"E Pluribus Unum" is our National Motto. It was adopted by our Founding Fathers in August 1776. The translation of this Latin phrase is, "Out of many, One". It describes an actionof many uniting into one. This profound concept celebrates the value of diversity as a source of strength when used as a foundation to forge unity because there is strength in unity and as a Nation we need to be strong to survive. Remember - one pencil is easy, but many together are strong and hard to break.
This bastardization of "diversity" is only one of the many political agendas promulgated by an educational establishment apparently aimed at molding students into good little political drones instead of teaching them to think for themselves. Independent thought begets diversity. Our public schools and universities are anything but diversified. Progressive political groupthink is pervasive. "Diversity" to them, really means anything non-conservative. Try challenging your teachers to define "diversity". Chances are, they will be unable to do so without using liberal talking points.
Surprisingly, the universities (our vaunted institutes of "higher learning") easily outstrip the K-12 public schools in their groupthink bias. If you think the media is leftist, check out the political affiliations of college instructors. In many of our most acclaimed universities the staff is overwhelmingly liberal. In some cases entire departments are staffed by admitted leftists (by now some of you sheep are seething by my use of the term "leftist". That is only because you have been conditioned to hear terms like "ultra right, right-wing nuts, religious far right", etc. as accurate, but corresponding terms describing the left are generally described as hate speech by academia. You have been taught to get angry at such talk - are you?). The point is, you are being proselyted more than educated.
As public school students you have not been exposed to a diversity of ideas. Regardless of instructor claims to the contrary, the academic ivory towers regularly censor social and political comments that disagree with their political agenda. A few universities have even gone as far as setting aside "free speech" areas as the only place on campus where certain subjects can be discussed (these are generally located in areas not likely to get much exposure for the participants). Did you get that? If you disagree with their politics they won't let you talk. Just recently a Professor at Central Connecticut State University called the campus police on a student who had fulfilled an assignment to discuss a "relevant issue in the media" because the student's topic was gun violence on campus and he had the temerity to suggest that if students with legal concealed carry permits were allowed to carry guns on campus many of the mass attacks could be stopped earlier. That evening the police summoned him to their office, listed the guns he owned and asked where they were (legally locked in a safe at his home twenty miles away). Apparently the Professor had filed a complaint with the campus police, stating that his presentation had "frightened some of the students! She actually called the police on a student for discussing an idea.
Evidently, the timid Professor is so emotionally opposed to the Second Amendment she was willing to ignore the First Amendment to shut him up. Whatever your take on the Second Amendment is, take a minute tonight and read the First Amendment to our Constitution. Then tell me how our Universities have arrived at campus censorship except in designated areas? Do our purveyors of diversity actually think they can decide whatyou can say,when you can say it and where you can say it! What convoluted rationalization did they employ to come up with this policy?
It didn't take much. I doubt if they have thought this unconstitutional policy through. They think so highly of themselves, they just know you dummies need to be told what to think and they are just the authorities to do it. Still, it is difficult to understand the immense pompous condescension of the educational establishment in modern times. A hundred years ago college educations were hard to come by and were enjoyed primarily by a tiny minority of the gifted or wealthy. To be a college professor in those days was quite an accomplishment. They were an elite cadre worthy of great respect, because only a relatively small segment of our population had the privilege of attending an institute of higher learning, let alone obtain a graduate degree. Fewer still were qualified to teach.
Today however, that is no longer the case. A college education is readily obtainable to most Americans. There are now millions of undergraduate degree holders and hundreds of thousands of citizens with Masters Degrees, Doctorates and their equivalents, yet our Professors still assume a delusional air of elitism and accomplishment as if they are more intelligent and accomplished than everybody else.
When your Professors pontificate try not to be too impressed. They may seem awfully smart to young students, but there is an old saying that should be kept in mind as you listen to their diatribes: "Them that can, do. Them that can't, teach". There much truth in this. Think of it this way - would you rather go mountain climbing with someone who has real world experience or someone who has read a whole bunch of books about it? Or would you rather fly with an experienced pilot or someone who has ‘studied' flying for years, but never actually sat in a pilot's seat?
Does your professor walk the walk as well as talk the talk? Does your Psychology Professor have a real viable private practice or do they just have one or two actual (student) clients? Has your Literature Instructor ever actually been published outside of the textbooks they authored (and force you to buy to pass their class)? How about your Journalism Professor - have they ever held a job in the real world practicing what they preach? How many books have they sold to non-students? Have they ever regularly written for a newspaper or periodical? Has anybody outside of their classroom ever heard of them?
Does the person teaching you actually know by experience what it is like to function in the real world or simply tell others how to? If they do, count yourself fortunate. Academics often start their careers as student teachers and move on up within the hierarchy with limited experience outside the educational system. But, there is big difference in studying a subject and experiencing it - between thinking about what it might be like and actually having done it.
In too many cases the truth is these Bozos couldn't make a living in the real world. That is not to say all of them are worthless posers. I can think, (as you probably can) of a handful in my life that were undeniably intelligent and inspiring. I have known great teachers that had a profound influence upon my life, but the fact is they were a minority. Today they are even fewer and farther in between - you don't believe it? Try ‘Googling' "unqualified teachers", but you had better set aside some time because you are going to find numerous articles and studies from all across the Nation documenting the rampant incompetence among our public school teachers.
Our college and university instructors may be barely more proficient remedially than public school teachers, but they lack the ability to engage in real critical thinking. Like the dopey CCSU Professor, they feel deeply, but seem unable to think deeply. Their passions are conceptualized via buzz words and soundbites. More often than not our educational institutions are overwhelmingly staffed by ideological lemmings devoid of individual thought, but steeped in socialist groupthink, teachers who can't pass their own tests and professors that have never worked in the real world. Yet you spend more hours per day with them than you do with your own family.
Who do you think cares more about your education - your family or your school? Your educators don't. They are all about preserving their personal empire. Efforts to teach outside their ideological box are typically met by hostility from the ivory towers of academia. Those who disagree will find themselves censured or forced to leave and there isn't much chance of significant change in the near future. The teachers unions are among the most powerful in the Country. They are the tails that wag our political dogs. Their political influence is undeniable and like everything else it is about their own personal power and money.
Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why the schools are so diligent at making sure you attend, but not so diligent about actually teaching you anything useful? They don't seem to care if you if learn anything, but they damn well want you in attendance every day. Year after year they continue to promote students into higher and higher grades even though they can't perform competently where they are - why?
Because our schools have become big business. Follow the money! They refuse to hold students too accountable lest too many become angry or discouraged and drop out of school. This prospect is horrifying, but not because they are concerned with the student's ability to function productively in society - it's about money. The government pays each school a specified amount of money, per student for each day attended. Got that? Every morning when you show up for roll call the school cash box chings another deposit. You are their golden goose. Without you they cannot support their cumbersome, overburdened system. That is why they want you there every day. They want the money.
That is also the reason for their vehement hatred of Home Schooling and Charter Schools. It is the basis of their opposition to school vouchers. They can't stand any competition. Both Home Schoolers and Charter School students routinely outperform their public school counterparts. Public school student academic competence is embarrassing when juxtaposed with the non-public school students. It is not even a close contest. The public schools receive an obscene of amount taxpayer dollars, their unions and lobbyists wield incredible political influence and they enjoy the full support of the media, yet the majority cannot hold a candle to Mom teaching across the kitchen table from an old book.
Even with all that money too many public schools are dirty, violent, shabby facilities. They suffer with dilapidated buildings, old athletic equipment, not enough books, antiquated technology, unqualified teachers - but the Superintendents always seem to get their moolah. There are almost four dozen Superintendents in the State of California alone, who earn more money per year than the Vice President of the United States! Somehow they can't quite figure out how to budget billions and billions of dollars well enough to make sure there are enough books to go around, but they can sure make certain they get their "vig" off each student that shows up for class. Did you catch that? Your Superintendent gets a portion of the daily stipend from the State for each student's attendance. Some get as much as forty dollars per student per day. Multiply that by the number of students in your school district and you can understand their huge incomes. Your Superintendent wants you in class because he/she gets a "commission" on it! Every morning when you answer roll call another slice of taxpayer dollars gets added to the Super's paycheck.
Your school maybe old and beat up, but you can bet your District Superintendent's house is big, beautiful and up to date. Check it out!
If the posers who run our educational system really believe in it, why do so many teachers, administrators and politicians opt to put their children in private schools? Because they care deeply how their own children turn out. They understandably want the best for them. As for the rest of us?- public schools are just fine - as long as we show up and they get their money.
The administrators of our public schools know the score. They are perfectly aware that recipients of graduate degrees in education have GPAs and personal test score averages lower than most other graduate programs. Some are certainly the ‘best and brightest', but unfortunately these may be the exceptions that prove the rule. Teachers and professors are more likely to be mediocre seekers of security and status in a non-threatening environment rather than shakers and movers willing to risk much to accomplish much.
This explains their pathological lack of creativity. It is why they parrot each other politically. Don't be intimidated. Think independently and don't be afraid to debate them. With a little preparation you can resist the groupthink and make up your own mind. A little knowledge will beat the hell out of a lot of propaganda. Don't think it will be easy. They have the power. They will try to shut you up or make you go away. They want you to get in line and conform to their ideology. If you do think independently they will attempt to ridicule you into silence. That is their primary tool. But, if that doesn't work they will try, as at CCSU, to enforce their will using the legal system.
Be strong. Argue with them when they indoctrinate. The last thing they want is to incorporate a diversity of thought - they have to be the authority. You see, if you think outside their socio-political box you may prove them wrong. Since their hubris is founded on their belief that you are not qualified to make your own decisions - they need to be right in order to keep their power over you. They will go to great lengths to maintain this delusion.
But, the winds of change are blowing. The toothpaste is out of the tube. The general public is universally unhappy with the state of our public schools. For now the educators retain a death lock on the politics of education, but that grip is losing its strength. The people are demanding accountability and change - real and effective change for the better. Every day more and more students abandon public education for Charter schools and home schooling. Others move to better districts. The pressure to provide school vouchers substantial enough to subsidize non-public education is increasing. The ability to freely choose between schools is another option being sought by parents across the Nation. All of which threaten the rotten-to-the-roots tyranny of the public school system. The pressure is building. Keep it up. A couple more good whiffs and the whole corrupt system is going to start coming come down.
They can obfuscate by blaming a lack of funds, class size or your parents, but the truth is these problems can be laid squarely at the feet of those we have trusted to educate us. They have more than enough money now. All they need is to budget responsibly by spending that money on the students and facilities - not the administration. Granted, smaller classes may be better and increased parental involvement is necessary. But the root of the problem is the politically driven agenda carried out by inept administrators and unqualified instructors bent on accumulating ever more money and power at your expense. Some of the very top schools in the Nation have overcrowded classrooms and are located in some of the poorest school districts, proving daily that although these issues need to be addressed they are not the cause of our public school demise. They are only red herrings employed to demand more money and increased power.
The good news is - change is coming. Parents are catching on and the pressure is building. Still, it will take a long, concerted effort to change this monopoly. Its proponents are deeply entrenched and will fight to the death to keep their status quo. They have the most powerful lobby in the Country. They have strong political support and media backing, but we can do it. Next time you go to the polls, cast your ballot on educational issues against anything supported by the educational establishment. Elect people to your school board from outside the system. Vote against captive politicians supporting the "educators". Report unqualified teachers and administrators abusing their power. Tell your parents when they force their views on you and write your political representatives and demand a complete overhaul of our public schools and universities.
Most important, fight them from the inside. Don't sit passively and allow them to peddle their socialist dogma and politically correct values. Stand up for your beliefs. Be firm in your convictions. Seek outside sources of information and know of what you speak. Pit your knowledge against their emotion. Don't be contentious or resort to acrimony even when they do. Be honest, articulate and respectful, but don't back down. If you stay calm while you disagree it will drive them crazy.
Now be good students and go to school and argue with your teachers.
About the Author
B D Fenton is a freelance writer living in Southern California
Latin for Dummies
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I would like to learn Excel VBA programming. I am comfortable working with Excel ( I’m a secretary and I feel my excel knowledge/experience is better than the average secretary) however, I can’t seem to find any basic VBA guides online. Excel VBA Programming for Dummies was suggested to me (by a programmer) but I haven’t gotten it yet. I was wondering if there is any FREE internet tutorial or guide that would be good for a beginner. (the other stuff I have found online is for people already familiar with programming in general, and this is my first delve into programming)
I've been programming in Excel VBA since about 1997 when VBA was first installed in Excel. I've read VB6 books, VB.Net books and looked through tons of websites online.
If you're truly wanting to learn Excel VBA then don't try learning VB6, VB.Net or Basic. They are similar, but Excel VBA has its own little quirks that make things you lear in those books not relate all of the time. Plus, those books are harder to learn.
I hate to be one to give bad news, but you're not really going to find a good website on how to program in Excel VBA. You'll find web pages here and there that tell you how to do specific things where people have questions, but there is no website that really does a good job of teaching the fundamentals.
My best recommendation would be to buy either Excel 2007 Power Programming with VBA or Excel 2003 Power Programming with VBA. John Walkenbach is the author and he does a great job of explaining the fundamentals and teaching you what you need to know in the order you need to learn it.
He teaches you things you need to know like how different versions of Excel have different numbers of rows and columns and how you can write your coding to adjust for that. Another thing he teaches is how to write your code so that it is efficient. If I write a For Next loop, it doesn't make sense to have it loop through every cell on the worksheet to find the number of cells on that worksheet that have the name John in them. Instead, I can limit the loop to search through the UsedRange or box of used cells so that the macro finishes in much less time. Or I can transfer the data to an Array and search through the array to make it even faster yet.
Then you have stuff like looping through and deleting rows. Normally, everybody is used to going from top to bottom. But to delete rows you need to delete starting at the bottom of the worksheet and work your way towards the top. This is because the rows move up when you delete a row. Then when your macro goes through its next loop you skip over a row if you delete from top to bottom instead of from bottom to top.
I tried teaching myself from the programming books and the web for almost 8-10 before I got his book. I learned more in a month or two from his book on VBA than I did in several years through the other methods.
Spend the money. It's worth getting his book. I looked on www.directtextbook.com and you can get the 2003 version new for $22.97 or the 2007 new for $25.92. Compare that with the hours you'll waste trying the other methods and its well worth every penny.
How to Record a Macro in Excel 2007 For Dummies
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i got a great catchy song for eurovision but how would i go about getting the song entered for next year?
Even tho im British, my music I have composed sounds very frenchy, which is only ment to be played with an accordion which gets the music back to basics I think it would have a great chance of wining the contest. I have dummy lyrics at the moment so i would have to get someone who is great at lyrics to help me finish it off, but how would i even go about getting this song considered. Any info would be greatly appreciated thanks.
Make a video with the dummy lyrics and upload it to youtube. I'm sure it will not be the worst thing out there...
Merlot - UberEdge Wine Education
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Remember me, Harry? I was the skinny, painfully shy kid with freakish physical strength who beat your giant sized nephew, Bobby, and just about everyone else around, in arm-wrestling. And now at age 53, I'm still going strong, am no longer bashful; I still read like there's no tomorrow, and Beethoven is still my favorite composer and...well, you get the point.
And now you're dead. I learned of your passing by pure chance while surfing the internet. And the news inspired in me some nostalgic feelings of yesteryear. So if you're not too busy, how about an amusing little story about boy-meets-girl...circa 1973?
Now most people don't write to dead men, but I believe that you, like those before you, have discovered something only the deceased can know: not all of you died, just your body. Your soul lives on because that's the only part of our being which is not tangible. We don't lease our soul, we own it. In other words, one must consider: If this were not so, what would be the point of dying...or living, for that matter? The beautiful thing about mortality is immortality. Yet my body is still alive, so how would I know all this? Am I some genius or clairvoyant?
Of course not. It's just that due to unusual childhood circumstances, truths could not be revealed to me by traditional means, such as through parental guidance, so I had to turn inward to seek life's truths. Hence my early penchant for classical music, international film dramas, and constant reading of encyclopedias and classic literature, rather than the standard forms of entertainment other kids my age preferred. All in search of the truth. So by virtue of happenstance, you could say I drew the inside post on premature knowledge, for what it's worth.
Anyway, I recall the very day you hired me. I was fifteen and my life was one big jittery rent-a-wreck. You were a decent boss--affable, funny, good-natured, and generous too. And I was a hard worker. Your endless supplies of jokes and wisecracks were a great source of amusement for me. Yet in hindsight, another agenda may have governed my work ethic somewhat--a nearby girl, perhaps. Undoubtedly, you've heard some falsehoods long ago from your inner circle regarding that particular girl and I. Now, the time has come for you to finally know the real truth straight from the protagonist himself. And rest assured, a man with nothing to hide punches these keys.
This, then, is the accurate, sequential story about the long seasons of 1973 and beyond...
Warm and hazy it was, that June morning when I first laid eyes on your daughter. At first glance, she imparted no real impression on me one way or the other. She was pretty enough; her dark wavy hair and large brown eyes projected a light-hearted demeanor that came with an easy smile. But the girl was nearly three-years my senior. And she also worked at your shop. So I shrugged her off. Well, that strategy didn't work. To my amazement, the girl soon developed a fondness for me. She made this very clear by displaying obvious romantic overtones. At the time, I really didn't need the distraction of personal human interaction, let alone romance. Intuition told me to stay put; to keep one foot on land. After all, the scorecard on my overall self-esteem read zero.
I was ashamed of my roots because, well, I had none. Back then, I was unaware of from where I came; essentially, my roots began and ended with a few still pictures in my head. Even my name wasn't real. Only decades later would my true identity and family history finally be revealed to me. And sure enough, it wasn't a pretty picture. For instance, it turns out my real father was a hood and a killer; a mid-level guy in la cosa nostra, and it was my own mentally ill mother who bumped him off when I was three. Then came the foster homes and the orphanage. And that was just the prelude! Anyway...
Curiously, your daughter's overt fondness for me escalated. I sensed that such a fiery attraction (by any girl) aimed toward me with flames that high couldn't possibly be sincere. So I heeded my intuition...by playing stupid while trying not to appear rude. That didn't work either; the girl would not stop hovering around me. And over the following several months she ceaselessly pursued, gradually wearing down my resolve. So ignoring better judgment, I finally gave in and recklessly allowed the cards to fall where they may. I was only partially aware of the risks...extreme risks that normal people rarely have to endure.
For the time being things were good...maybe a little too good, and the days and months rolled on. The girl and I talked daily and for hours on end. We went on long bike rides. She confided very personal information to me, and I to her, (even my night terrors and whatnot). We trusted each other, and I was the perfect candidate to trust.
My Italian code of omerta was never broken. To this day, I've not revealed to anyone a single word she said in confidence. The thing that stunned and embarrassed me the most was the girl's peculiar, off-the-cuff remarks about my looks--something about muscles and, "He's so cute," etcetera. She usually made sure her mother was within ear-shot of her bold pronouncements. And her mother was none too pleased; she often scolded her for it:
"He is not cute!" her mother would scowl. Yes, the whole setup was steeped in bizarre paradoxes.
Out-of-sync behavior such as this aroused my suspicion even more, but the throes of seemingly perfect chemistry between your daughter and I overruled common sense. Then one morning I woke up and found myself sucked into a blender of scrambled amore. And from that day on, any idea of escaping unscathed was no longer within the realm of reality.
You found it all harmlessly amusing. Hell, I even sensed indications that you were more-or-less supporting this...umm...well, I guess you could call it a budding romance of sorts. Especially given the way she would lean all over me every chance she got and hold my hand or arm whenever no one was looking...or was looking, depending on her mood, I suppose. Bear in mind, we never did kiss, much less anything beyond that. Sure, there was plenty of touching, but only appropriately. I was a decent kid (too damn decent for my own good), who never pressed the physical element of the relationship. In fact, the girl did subtly try to kiss me on several occasions, but I quelled her through subtle diversion. She gleefully took the physical lead; I hadn't yet worked up the nerve to change that. Then I turned sixteen...and worked up the nerve. It was time to stop being a kid; time to initiate things, for a change.
And that year I left her. Abruptly. I had to. What the hell? But why? Well, it's really very simple. Every time I took that brave gamble and met her flirtatious advances even halfway, she coyly backed off and played the sanctimonious platonic card. And whenever I stepped back, she would again move brazenly forward, all touchy-feely. The girl would not permit me to orchestrate anything; even harmlessly putting my arm around her was rejected. Her crazy game of cerebral ping-pong went on for months, and it was severely compromising my already fragile sanity. What was her motive? Did she find joy watching me flounder like an e'ubazze? (crazy person) Did she really think I would accept the role of modeulle (idiot) indefinitely? But most importantly, how many other poor bastards fell prey to her absurd folly since then, I wondered? Only she could know.
Or could she?
At the time it never occurred to me that maybe, just maybe the girl was acting out a learned behavior. But apprenticed by whom, I wondered? On the other hand, she may have been slightly cuckoo--not really nuts; just a half-finger shy of a North Jersey borgata, maybe. That in her minds eye, she was functioning with absolute purity of intent. But did she qualify for a pass based on that? After all, I wasn't the one who created and directed the whole facade between us. No matter. Either way, I finally walked on one eggshell too many.
So, "Good bye, kid," and she cried, but not too hard. The moment I bailed out I regretted it. And even though my hard-earned trust was breeched, I probably should have gutted the relationship out right to the bitter end. But the bridge I impulsively burned could not be extinguished in time. Also, in hindsight, I'll bet it took her all of about two-days to forget me...if not less. And that assumption is always worth a good chuckle.
We would, by chance, cross paths several times since, but not a word was ever exchanged. There was nothing left to say to each other. I simply failed Adolescence 101: How to SurviveOne-Sided Love Affairs, for Dummies.
So, what became of me after I quit that job? Ha! Funny you should ask. Well let's see, about a week after ditching her, I started drinking heavily...at first to escape grief, and eventually to avoid withdrawal. I embarked on a slow suicide mission accompanied by an unforeseen downward spiral of chronic and prolonged depression.
After my expulsion from high school, I continued with what would become a 20-year on-and-off tutelage in Korean Kempo and Japanese Jiu-Jitsu, eventually to the point of expertise.The rest of my time was spent engaging in, hellish, nightmarish hikes on the sands of bleak February beaches and self-punishing marches in snowy woodlands to wallow in self-loathing, while second-guessing myself, thoroughly unable to get the girl out of my head. Over and over I played the sad tune: How could I have blown the opportunity? Or did I completely misconstrue her intentions? What did I do to destroy the whole thing? I would wrestle with that bitter 'what if' residue for many years to come.
Charming, isn't it? But there's more.
One day, at age seventeen, while in a drunken stupor and on a whim, I walked into an army recruiting office, signed on the dotted line, and after boot camp I wound spending 11-months being taught basically how to assassinate people. It was no ordinary army AIT (Advanced Infantry training). Idiotically, I chose Spec Force OP because other than physical attributes, my only other skill was speed reading. And my language abilities would have landed me in Korea as a desk jockey, cracking codes. Besides, it was peace-time, so what could go wrong? I soon found out there is no peace-time in Spec Force OP. They pray for conflict and they're not too fussy about where. Any global hot-spot will do.
After more advanced training, we were flown to a "relaxing vacation paradise" to frolic in the deep, hilly wastelands of Angola, Africa for an eight-month sweat-box summer, followed by a four-month fun-fest in Somalia. Seems there were always violent groups of militant puppet regimes violating human rights issues while trying to force a government overthrow.
In a nutshell, everybody was killing each other. So picture it: Me, the former 15-year-old stick boy, transformed into a brainwashed, grizzled, cold-blooded killer by experts; I was part of an elite unit split into platoons of four-man teams, armed to the teeth and moving only by night. That's right, me, smoking weed and sucking down beer and cheap whiskey every chance I got. All that plus taking occasional mortar and small arms fire by some prepubescent rebel snipers, or their grandfathers. Twenty-minutes of terror, followed weeks of utter boredom, then more terror, and so on.
The whole time my mind was occupied elsewhere, such as knowing another one like her would never come my way. Pretty bizarre? I thought so too.Of course, that premonition would turn out to be false. There would be other women. Apparently, broken souls must be voluntarily purged so they can heal. My soul did mend over time. All except for one small crack. And to my dismay, the overall healing process took much longer than I expected. All those subsequent girlfriends did ugahts (nothing) to expedite my recovery.
Decades later, I would locate your daughter again, in a manner of speaking. But not to rekindle a soaked branch, that's for sure. I needed answers in order to finally put this thing to rest, to fix that one last crack in my soul. The computer age affords us such blather. I decided to write her a letter. What was to lose? Those paralyzing fears that once governed my brain were expelled long ago by harnessed power and confidence. I was too well trained and born again hard for life, by the experts. So, who cared whether or not my probing questions might temporarily disrupt some woman who probably scarcely remembered me in the first place? And even if she did recollect anything at all, would she have given a damn? Hell no, I had to figure.
I was correct. Realizing this might be a one-shot chance to get answers, I worded the letter in a direct yet lucid tone. Placing blame was not my directive. I layered in vivid detail the events of yesteryear, inviting her to correct me if anything she read was inaccurate. Once I sent the letter, the only question left was: would she have the emotional integrity required to respond truthfully, if at all?
Alas, the letter was read but no return text was sent. She took the easy way out. Only sometimes there is no easy way out; not in the long-run. So I let three-months go by before sending a reminder. No doubt, your daughter feared I might harass her to no end, because she finally threw together several hastily written sentences which answered absolutely nothing...at least not at first glance. She just wanted me to disappear. They were not kind words, or even legitimate. Evidently, I overestimated her inner fortitude. She didn't address any of my questions in the original letter, claiming not to understand them or why I asked them. And for the kicker, she dismissed me by suggesting I'm not the only person in the world who has problems. I found that hilarious considering my chosen career (helping other people to overcome their problems). Jesus.
Her deflection was interesting...and revealing. It doesn't take a pill-pushing psychiatrist to ascertain that at some point in her life, ill fate must have hit her very hard. Could the girl have been ousted? Widowed? Or worse? Worse is my guess.
Le conseguenze dell'amore? (The consequences of love?)
Your daughter's minimalistic response was disappointing, but not that surprising. And I sensed that her poor grammar may have been a deliberate dissuasive tactic. (At least I hope it was deliberate). Otherwise, God bless the public school system's hooked-on-phonics policy. (Laughing my ass off here)!Err...sorry. Having to take countless hours of boring psychology in college to become a certified alcohol and drug counselor (at age-42, no less), I know what emotional evasiveness is. It is a defense mechanism subconsciously designed to prevent other people from entering their emotional domain, no matter how damaged and fragmented that domain may be. The problem is: they, themselves, get locked out too.
I could not help but feel deeply sorry for the woman. Not a pity sorrow, but a sorrow of hope...hope that she would one day regain her easy smile; that wonderful laugh, her light-hearted disposition...for her own well-being. It was no skin off my ass. Not anymore. If she feared harassment from me, it was a wasted worry. These days, what non-sociopath has the time and inclination for that? Few, I'm sure. Still, in a moment of compassion, I composed a small letter explaining to her, (in a very gentle manner), that it's okay if it was not within her to face the music of yesteryear...that it's probably unrealistic to expect any person to address supposed transgressions that far back. And that I harbor no ill will; merely a wish that her life is (or will become) happy and content. Not even desiring a response, I shipped it.
Then I reflected and laughed. My war with booze ended a long time ago. It turns out my alcoholism was genetically predisposed, as was the mental illness. My biological mother passed it down to me, her mother passed it down to her; who knows how far back it goes. Sure, life's situations may have exacerbated my post traumatic stress disorder and clinical depression, but not my alcoholism. Substance abuse my genetic destiny, no matter what my lot in life would be. Eventually, and against great odds and with a lot of help, I dug deep and sobered up for good, ending the family booze cycle once and for all. It was the hardest thing I have ever done...and the most rewarding.
Your daughter deleted the letter without clicking the open button. It went unread. Turns out it didn't matter. By not pressing the open button, she handed me the true degree of her embittered spirit on a silver platter. Right then and there, I knew for sure: No matter who I was; no matter what I did, it never would have worked anyway! The chasm of stability and forthrightness was just too wide for her to negotiate. And that's what really answered my questions, albeit in a 'round about twist. In the end, your daughter did, unwittingly, repair the tiny crack in my soul. Pure irony, wouldn't you say?
With that realization, I felt giddy...and philosophical. Pondering the big picture, I asked myself: How odd is it when a person's direct questions are often answered by a smokescreen of denial and omission--which is often how, quite by accident, the truth is revealed to us. Yes, gut-level truths are hard for us to comprehend, much less face, especially from a protagonists point of view. Yet we ought to meet them head-on anyway, don't you think?
So, once and for all, the whole story has finally been told, and with absolute precision. And this is the only version you'll ever hear that can be trusted as one-hundred percent true. I can now say what really happened in the summer of 1973 and beyond.
Everything and nothing.
I'm still grateful you gave me the job though. Granted, the price-tag may have been a little high, but that gig taught me a lot more than how to make ceramic trinkets. The experience made me smarter and tougher. And none of it could have happened without you. I'll miss you, Harry.
About the Author
Joseph Lupoli is a long-suffering author who is now a sports coach for developmentally disabled children and adults. He has penned numerous stories and articles of virtually every genre, and he is a syndicated MMA analyst.
An avid tennis enthusiast, disco dancer, and black belt in Jiu-Jitsu, Joseph doesn't find himself behind the keyboard as often as he would prefer.
Joseph resides with his wife in New Jersey.
Joey's Korean lesson for my friends!
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