Showing posts with label programming. Show all posts
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Monday, 31 December 2012
Monday, 19 September 2011
Python For Dummies
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Bill Bailey (born Mark Bailey 13 January 1965, Bath, Somerset) is an English stand-up comedian, musician and actor. As well as his extensive stand-up work, Bailey is well known for his appearances on Have I Got News for You, Never Mind the Buzzcocks, QI and Black Books.
Bailey was listed by The Observer as one of the 50 funniest acts in British comedy in 2003, and in 2007 he was voted number seven on Channel 4's hundred greatest stand-ups.
Contents
1 Personal life
2 Career
2.1 Early stand-up
2.2 Television
2.3 International tours
2.4 Other appearances
2.5 Music
2.6 Future
3 Selected works
3.1 Tours
3.2 DVDs
3.3 Books
3.4 TV/Film
4 References
5 External links
//
Personal life
Bailey spent the majority of his childhood in Keynsham, a town situated between Bath and Bristol in the West of England. His father was a general practitioner and his mother was a hospital ward sister. His maternal grandparents lived in an annexe, built on the side of the house by his maternal grandfather who was a stonemason and builder. Two rooms at the front of the family house were for his father's surgery.
Bailey was educated at King Edward's School, an independent school in Bath where he was initially an academic pupil winning most of the prizes. However, at about the age of 15 years, he started to become distracted from school work when he realised the thrill of performance as a member of a school band called Behind Closed Doors, which played mostly original work. He was the only pupil at his school to study A-level music and he passed with an A grade. He also claims to have been good at sport (captain of KES 2nd XI cricket team 1982), which often surprised his teachers. He would often combine the two by leading the singing on the long coach trip back from away rugby fixtures. It was here that he was given his nickname Bill by his music teacher, Ian Phipps, for being able to play the song "Won't You Come Home Bill Bailey" so well on the guitar.
He started an English degree at Westfield College but left after a year.
He spent his early years listening to Monty Python records, and rehearsing with a band called the "Famous Five", who he himself confesses were very bad but still much better than him and who, unexpectedly, had only four members. However, he is a classically trained musician and received an Associateship Diploma from the London College of Music as well as being made an honorary member of the Society of Crematorium Organists. Despite this, he has said that he always had the temptation to be silly with music, a trait that influences his stand-up shows.
Bailey often mythologises his early years in his stand-up. In his show Bewilderness, he claims to have attended Bovington Gurney School of Performing Arts and Owl Sanctuary. He talks about a succession of jobs he had before becoming a comedian, including lounge pianist, crematorium organist, door-to-door door-salesman and accompanist for a mind-reading dog. A clip of Bailey's appearance in the dog's routine was shown during his Room 101 appearance. He also is self-deprecating about his appearance, suggesting he is so hairy that he is part troll, or that his hair or beard is a small animal named Lionel whom he has trained to sit 'very very still.'
Bailey also talks about his role as a "Disenfranchised Owl" in an experimental Welsh theatre troupe (mentioned in an interview with Australian newspaper Post). Other acting roles included a part in a Workers' Revolutionary Party stage production called The Printers, which also featured Vanessa Redgrave and Frances de la Tour. His trivia page on IMDb also claims that he was awarded Best Actor in the 1986 Institut Franais awards.
An avid Star Trek fan, he named his son (born 2003) after the Star Trek: Deep Space Nine character Dax and often refers to himself as a Klingon (once claiming during his "Part Troll" tour that his ear-mounted microphone made him resemble "a wizard in a call centre" and "a Klingon motivational speaker").
He currently lives in Hammersmith in London and supports Queens Park Rangers.
Career
Early stand-up
Bailey began touring the country with other comedians such as Mark Lamarr. In 1986 he formed a double act, the Rubber Bishops, with Toby Longworth (a former fellow pupil at King Edward's Bath) who was replaced in 1988 by Martin Stubbs. They achieved a certain amount of success on the club circuit, partly due to their rigorous schedule sometimes as many as three or four gigs a night. It was here that Bailey began developing his own unique style, mixing in musical parodies with deconstructions of or variations on traditional jokes ("How many amoebas does it take to change a lightbulb? One, no two! No four! No eight...") - according to comedy folklore, after a reviewer once criticised his act for its lack of jokes, Bailey returned the following night, at Queen Margaret College, Edinburgh, to perform a set composed entirely of punchlines.
Stubbs later quit to pursue a more serious career, and in 1994 Bailey performed Rock at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe with Sean Lock, a show about an aging rockstar and his roadie, script-edited by comedy writer Jim Miller. It was later serialised for the Mark Radcliffe show on BBC Radio 1. However, the show's attendances were not impressive and on one occasion the only person in the audience was comedian Dominic Holland. Bailey confessed in an interview with The Independent that he almost gave it up to do a telesales job.
He persevered, however, and went solo the next year with the one man show Bill Bailey's Cosmic Jam. The show was very well received and led to a recording at the Bloomsbury Theatre in London which was broadcast in 1996 on Channel 4 as a one-hour special called Bill Bailey Live. It was not until 2005 that this was released in DVD uncut and under its original title. It marked the first time that Bailey had been able to tie together his music and post-modern gags with the whimsical rambling style he is now known for.
After supporting Donna McPhail in 1995 and winning a Time Out award, he returned to Edinburgh in 1996 with a critically acclaimed show that was nominated for the Perrier Comedy Award. Amongst the other nominees was future Black Books co-star Dylan Moran, who narrowly beat him in the closest vote in the award's history.
Bailey won the Best Live Stand-Up award at the British Comedy Awards, 1999.
Television
Though he didn't win the Perrier in 1996, the nomination was enough to get him noticed, and in 1998 the BBC gave him his own television show, Is It Bill Bailey?
This was not Bailey's first foray into television. His debut was on the children's TV show Motormouth in the late 1980s, playing piano for a mind-reading dog.The trick went hilariously wrong, and Bailey reminisced about the experience on the BBC show Room 101 with Paul Merton in 2000. In 1991, he was appearing in stand-up shows such as The Happening, Packing Them In, The Stand Up Show, and The Comedy Store. He also appeared as captain on two panel games, an ITV music quiz pilot called Pop Dogs, and the poorly received Channel 4 sci-fi quiz show, Space Cadets. However Is it Bill Bailey? was the first time he had written and presented his own show.
With his star on the rise and gaining public recognition, over the next few years, Bailey made well received guest appearances on shows such as Have I Got News For You, World Cup Comedy, Room 101, Des O'Connor Tonight, Coast to Coast and three episodes of off-beat Channel 4 sitcom Spaced, in which he played comic-shop manager Bilbo Bagshot.
In 1998, Dylan Moran approached him with the pilot script for Black Books, a Channel 4 sitcom about a grumpy bookshop owner, his put-upon assistant, and their neurotic female friend. It was commissioned in 2000, and Bailey took the part of the assistant Manny Bianco, with Moran playing the owner Bernard, and Tamsin Greig the friend, Fran. Three series of six episodes were made, building up a large cult fanbase, providing the public awareness on which Bailey would build a successful national tour in 2001.
When Sean Hughes left his long-term role as a team captain on Never Mind the Buzzcocks in 2002, Bailey became his successor. His style quickly blended into the show, possibly helped by his background in music. He soon developed a rapport of sorts with host Mark Lamarr, who continually teased him about his looks and his pre-occupation with woodland animals. It was announced on the 18th of September 2008 that Bill would be leaving the series and be replaced by a series of guest captains including Jack Dee and Dermot O'Leary. Whilst touring in 2009, Bailey joked that his main reason for leaving the show was a lack of desire to continue humming Britney Spears' Toxic to little known figures in the indie music scene.
Bailey has appeared frequently on the intellectual panel game QI since it began in 2003, appearing alongside host Stephen Fry and regular panellist Alan Davies. Other television appearances include a cameo role in Alan Davies' drama series Jonathan Creek as failing street magician Kenny Starkiss and obsessed guitar teacher in the "Holiday" episode of Sean Lock's Fifteen Storeys High. He later appeared with Lock again as a guest on his show TV Heaven, Telly Hell. He has also appeared twice on Friday Night with Jonathan Ross.
Bailey also presented Wild Thing I Love You which began on Channel 4 on 15 October 2006. The series focuses on the protection of Britain's wild animals, and has included rehoming badgers, owls, and water voles.
Bailey has most recently appeared in the second series of the E4 teenage "dramedy" Skins playing Maxxie's Dad, Walter Oliver. In episode 1, Walter struggles with his son's desire to be a dancer, instead wishing him to become a builder, which is what he himself does for a living. Walter is married to Jackie, played by Fiona Allen.
Bailey appeared on the first episode of Grand Designs Live on 4 May 2008, helping Kevin McCloud build his eco-friendly home. In 2009 Bailey appeared in the BBC show "Hustle" as the Character "Cyclops", a side-line character. In the Autumn of 2009 Bailey will be presenting, Bill Bailey's Big Bird Watch.
International tours
Bailey in concert, 2007 Photo: Brian Marks
In 2001, Bailey began touring the globe with Bewilderness, which became a huge success. A recording of a performance in Swansea was released on DVD the same year, and the show was broadcast on Channel 4 that Christmas. A modified version of it also proved successful in America, and in 2002 Bill released a CD of a recording at the WestBeth Theatre in New York. The show contained all his trademarks, popular music parodies (such as Unisex Chip Shop, a Billy Bragg tribute which he actually performed with Billy Bragg at the 2005 Glastonbury Festival), "three men in a pub" jokes (including one in the style of Geoffrey Chaucer) and deconstructions of television themes such as Countdown and The Magic Roundabout. A 'Bewilderness' CD was sold outside gigs, which was actually just a mixture of studio recordings of songs and monologues Bill had performed in the past - it was later released in shops as Bill Bailey: The Ultimate Collection... Ever!. That same year he also presented a Channel 4 countdown, Top Ten Prog Rock.
Bailey premiered his show Part Troll at the 2003 Edinburgh Festival Fringe. A critical and commercial success, he then transferred it to the West End where tickets sold out in under 24 hours, and new dates had to be added. Since then he has toured it all over the UK as well as in America, Australia and New Zealand. The show marked the first time Bailey had really tackled political material, as he expanded on subjects such as the war on Iraq, which he had only touched upon before in his Bewilderness New York show. He also talks extensively on drugs, at one point asking the audience to name different ways of baking cannabis. A DVD was released in 2004.
2005 finally saw the release of his 1995 show Bill Bailey's Cosmic Jam. The 2-disc set also contained a director's cut of Bewilderness, which featured a routine on Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of Time not seen in the original version.
Bailey performed at show at the 2006 Edinburgh Festival Fringe entitled "Steampunk". It looked set to become the fastest selling fringe show ever (The previous record holder also being Bailey in The Odd Couple in 2005.) But a ticketing mix-up forced the last 10% of tickets to be Purchased in person from the venue rather than pre-booked, meaning the venue filled at a slower overall rate than it should have.
Bailey appeared at the Beautiful Days festival in August 2007. The UK leg of the Tinselworm tour enjoyed 3 sell-out nights at the MEN Arena in Manchester, Europe's largest indoor arena, and culminated with a sell-out performance at Wembley Arena.
Early in 2007, a petition was started to express fans' wishes to see him cast as a dwarf in the 2010 film The Hobbit, after his stand-up routine mentioned auditioning for Gimli in The Lord of the Rings. The petition reached its goal in the early days of January, and was sent to the producers. It was hoped that as the Tinselworm tour took him to Wellington in New Zealand where the film is in pre-production, that he would be able to audition..
Other appearances
In 2000 he had a small role in British comedy film Saving Grace, and also voiced the sperm whale in 2005's The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie.
In 2002, Bailey provided the voice for a BMW Mini advertising campaign, as well as writing and performing a series of British Airways adverts in which, through the use of music, he took a humorous look at several locations around the world.
Bailey has also performed dramatic roles in two Edinburgh Festival Fringe shows, both directed by Guy Masterson. He played Juror #4 in a 2003 version of Twelve Angry Men featuring comedians in the roles of the jurors and also co-starred as Oscar in a 2005 production of The Odd Couple alongside Alan Davies.
Radio appearances include two episodes each of Chain Reaction, The 99p Challenge, I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, and three episodes of Just a Minute, as well as presenting Good Vibrations: The History of the Theremin, co-hosting the first series of The Museum Of Curiosity and appearing on Loose Ends.
In 2005, he appeared in Birmingham, as an act for "Jasper Carrott's Rock with Laughter". He appeared alongside performers such as Bonnie Tyler, Jasper Carrott, Lenny Henry, Bobby Davro and the Lord of the Dance troupe.
Bill Bailey was due to appear in Shaun of the Dead, but in the commentary included with the DVD Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright said that he was not in the film because he was busy with other commitments at the time. He did however have two minor roles as the desk sergeant twins in Pegg and Wright's 2007 film Hot Fuzz.
Bill Bailey hosting So You Think You're Funny.
In February 2007 Bailey organised, produced and starred in a West End show called Pinter's People, a collection of sketches by playwright Harold Pinter. The show also starred Kevin Eldon, Sally Phillips and Geraldine McNulty.
In March 2007, Bill Bailey appeared at the International Human Beatbox Convention at the South Bank Centre in London, introducing Shlomo to the stage for the climax of the concert, as well as showing off his own beatboxing.
On 4 May 2007, he appeared as the guest presenter of BBC One's Have I Got News for You and again on the 9 May 2008.
In July 2007, Bill Bailey narrated a series of animated reading books for dyslexic children called 'Nessy Tales'.
On 9 June 2008 Bailey was the guest on Radio 4's Desert Island Discs and, later the same day, appeared in the first episode of an adaptation of The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists on the same station.
Also in June Bill made a guest appearance on the Australian show 'Rove Live' and whilst in a questionnaire to win $20 in 20 seconds, answered the question; "Who would you turn gay for?" by replying; "The pope"
In September, he was one of the hosts of the So You Think You're Funny comedy gala at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
On 12 November 2008, Bill was one of the performers of "We Are Most Amused", a special comedy performance to celebrate the 60th birthday of Prince Charles.
Music
Bailey is a talented pianist and guitarist and has perfect pitch. His stand-up routines often feature music from genres such as jazz, rock (most notably prog rock from the early seventies), drum'n'bass, rave and classical, usually for comic value. Favourite instruments include the keyboard, guitar, theremin, kazoo and bongos. He also mentioned in an interview that he has achieved Grade 6 Clarinet. He was also part of punk band Beergut 100, which he founded in 1995 with comedy writer Jim Miller and also featured Martin Trenaman and Phil Whelans, with Kevin Eldon as lead singer. The band performed at the 2006 Edinburgh Festival Fringe. Trenaman and Welans had previously appeared in Cosmic Jam under the name "The Stan Ellis Experiment", and Trenaman and Eldon later featured with John Moloney in the Kraftwerk homage "Das Hokey Kokey" on the Part Troll tour. Bill claims that he and the three other performers are a Kraftwerk tribute band called Augenblick. To mark the final gig of the Part Troll tour on 1 January 2005 the band reappeared on stage after the "Das Hokey Kokey" joke to play an hour-long encore of music.
In February 2007, Bill appeared on two occasions with the BBC Concert Orchestra and Anne Dudley in a show entitled Cosmic Shindig. Performed in The Colosseum in Watford on 24 February and in the Queen Elizabeth Hall on 26 February, the show contained orchestrally accompanied versions of many of Bill's previously performed songs, an exploration of the instruments of the orchestra and a number of new pieces of music. The Queen Elizabeth Hall performance was aired on BBC Radio 3 on 16 March 2007 as a part of Comic Relief 2007.
Bill had planned to put himself forward as Britain's Eurovision entry in 2008, as a result of several fan petitions encouraging him to do so.
In October 2008 he performed Bill Bailey's Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra at the Royal Albert Hall with the BBC Concert Orchestra, conducted by Anne Dudley.
In November 2009 he was a guest on Private Passions, the biographical music discussion programme on BBC Radio 3.
Future
As of September 2008, Bailey is working on a film project about the explorer and naturalist Alfred Russel Wallace, in the form of an Indonesian travelogue. Bailey said in an interview that Wallace had been "airbrushed out of history", and that he feels a "real affinity" with him.
Selected works
Tours
Cosmic Jam (1995)
Bewilderness (2001)
Part Troll (2004)
Steampunk (2006)
Tinselworm (2008)
Bill Bailey Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra (2009)
DVDs
Bewilderness (12 November, 2001)
Part Troll (22 November, 2004)
Cosmic Jam (7 November, 2005)
Bill Bailey - The Classic Collection (27 November, 2006) (Boxset featuring Bewilderness, Part Troll and Cosmic Jam)
Tinselworm (10 November, 2008)
Bill Bailey - The Collector's Edition (10 November, 2008) (Boxset featuring Bewilderness, Part Troll, Cosmic Jam and Tinselworm)
Bill Bailey's Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra (23 November, 2009)
Bill Bailey - The Inevitable Boxset (23 November, 2009) (Boxset featuring Bewilderness, Part Troll, Cosmic Jam, Tinselworm and Bill Bailey's Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra)
Books
The Many Moods of Bill Bailey (A song book which collects 9 of Bill's most popular songs from the period of 1995-2005. Including instructions from Bill himself (which ventures into how they were created) and pictures) (2007)
TV/Film
Blue Heaven (Channel 4 TV series) (1994)
Asylum (1996)
Space Cadets (1997) (Regular Team Captain)
Is It Bill Bailey? (1998)
Spaced (19992001)
Have I Got News for You (Guest - 1999, 2001, 2005. Guest Presenter - 2007, 2008, 2009)
Saving Grace (2000)
Maid Marian and her Merry Men (1992). Cameo court jester to King John
Black Books (20002004)
Jonathan Creek
"Satan's Chimney" (2001)
"The Tailor's Dummy" (2003)
Wild West (20022004)
Never Mind the Buzzcocks (20022008) (Regular team captain)
QI (2003resent) (Frequent guest)
"15 Storeys High" - "The Holiday" (2004)
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005) (Voice of the Sperm Whale)
The Libertine (Small cameo role as advisor to Charles II of England).
Wild Thing I Love You (2006) (Presenter)
Top Gear (A Star in a Reasonably-Priced Car)
Hot Fuzz (2007)
Run Fatboy Run (2007) (Cameo)
Skins (2008)
Love Soup (2008)
We Are Most Amused (2008) (One-off special)
Hustle
"Return of the Prodigal" (2009)
"Diamond Seeker" (2009)
Bill Bailey's Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra (2009)
Steve's World (2009)
Burke and Hare (2010)
Bill Bailey's Bird Watching Bonanza (2010)
References
^ a b "Bill Bailey". screenonline. http://www.screenonline.org.uk/people/id/1191391/.
^ a b "@BillBailey". Twitter. http://twitter.com/RealBillBailey/status/7701657445. "@BillBailey". Twitter. http://twitter.com/RealBillBailey/status/7707832487. "@BillBailey". Twitter. http://twitter.com/RealBillBailey/status/9570692935.
^ "Channel 4's 100 Greatest Stand Ups". http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/tv/microsites/C/comedy_standups/results/results.html. [dead link]
^ a b c "Desert Island Discs featuring Bill Bailey". Desert Island Discs. BBC. Radio 4. 2008-06-08.
^ "Comedy Map of Britain". News Events & Diary. King Edward's School, Bath. 2007. http://www.kesbath.com/cgi-local/artman/exec/search.cgi?cat=1&fields=art_num&keyword=1553&template=index/newspage.htm. Retrieved 2007-02-02.
^ "People are obsessed by how I look", The Independent, 21 November 2008.
^ "Episode 1 - West London to the West Country". The Comedy Map of Britain. BBC 2. 2007-01-27.
^ "Bill Bailey - About Bill". http://www.billbailey.co.uk/about.php.
^ http://fourfourtwo.com/interviews/celebrityfans/49/article.aspx
^ http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7623854.stm
^ Bill Baileys Big Bird Watch
^ "All That Glitters". Wired, Croydon's listings magazine. http://www.wiredmag.co.uk/archive-feature.php?issue_id=50&feature_id=69. Retrieved 2007-12-31.
^ Gilded Balloon - So You Think You're Funny
^ Simon Neville (2006). "Looking back at a week of Fringe madness". living.scotsman.com. http://living.scotsman.com/topics.cfm?tid=1484&id=1247052006. Retrieved 2007-01-02.
^ Natbat (2006). "Kevin Eldon Interview". notbbc.co.uk. http://www.notbbc.co.uk/features/15/kevin_eldon_interview.html. Retrieved 2007-01-02.
^ "The essential guide to Edinburgh". Special report Edinburgh 2006. Guardian Unlimited. 2006. http://arts.guardian.co.uk/edinburgh2006/story/0,,1826826,00.html. Retrieved 2007-01-02.
^ Eurovision (Latest News)
^ "Bill Bailey's Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra". guardian.co.uk. http://www.guardian.co.uk/stage/2008/oct/17/comedy. Retrieved 2008-10-20.
^ BBC Radio 3
^ "How Bill got his groove". Sydney Morning Herald. http://www.smh.com.au/text/articles/2008/09/06/1220121596375.html. Retrieved 2008-09-15.
^ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0371724/ "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy", IMDB
External links
Wikiquote has a collection of quotations related to: Bill Bailey
Wikimedia Commons has media related to: Bill Bailey
Bill Bailey -- official website.
Bill Bailey at the Internet Movie Database.
Bill Bailey discography at Discogs.
Bill Bailey at the British Film Institute's Screenonline.
Bill Bailey on Chortle.
v d e
Black Books
Characters
Bernard Black Manny Bianco Fran Katzenjammer
Actors
Dylan Moran Bill Bailey Tamsin Greig
Other
List of Black Books episodes
Persondata
NAME
Bailey, Bill
ALTERNATIVE NAMES
Bailey, Mark
SHORT DESCRIPTION
English stand-up comedian, actor and musician
DATE OF BIRTH
24 February 1964
PLACE OF BIRTH
Bath, Somerset, England
DATE OF DEATH
PLACE OF DEATH
Categories: 1964 births | English comedians | Alumni of the Royal Academy of Music | Alumni of Westfield College | English comedy musicians | English guitarists | English buskers | English stand-up comedians | Living people | People from Bath | People from Keynsham | Never Mind the BuzzcocksHidden categories: All articles with dead external links | Articles with dead external links from January 2010 | Articles needing additional references from December 2009 | All articles needing additional references
About the Author
Cell Death according to Monty Python (cell death for dummies)
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Bill Bailey
www.billbailey.co.uk/Bill Bailey (born Mark Bailey 13 January 1965, Bath, Somerset) is an English stand-up comedian, musician and actor. As well as his extensive stand-up work, Bailey is well known for his appearances on Have I Got News for You, Never Mind the Buzzcocks, QI and Black Books.
Bailey was listed by The Observer as one of the 50 funniest acts in British comedy in 2003, and in 2007 he was voted number seven on Channel 4's hundred greatest stand-ups.
Contents
1 Personal life
2 Career
2.1 Early stand-up
2.2 Television
2.3 International tours
2.4 Other appearances
2.5 Music
2.6 Future
3 Selected works
3.1 Tours
3.2 DVDs
3.3 Books
3.4 TV/Film
4 References
5 External links
//
Personal life
Bailey spent the majority of his childhood in Keynsham, a town situated between Bath and Bristol in the West of England. His father was a general practitioner and his mother was a hospital ward sister. His maternal grandparents lived in an annexe, built on the side of the house by his maternal grandfather who was a stonemason and builder. Two rooms at the front of the family house were for his father's surgery.
Bailey was educated at King Edward's School, an independent school in Bath where he was initially an academic pupil winning most of the prizes. However, at about the age of 15 years, he started to become distracted from school work when he realised the thrill of performance as a member of a school band called Behind Closed Doors, which played mostly original work. He was the only pupil at his school to study A-level music and he passed with an A grade. He also claims to have been good at sport (captain of KES 2nd XI cricket team 1982), which often surprised his teachers. He would often combine the two by leading the singing on the long coach trip back from away rugby fixtures. It was here that he was given his nickname Bill by his music teacher, Ian Phipps, for being able to play the song "Won't You Come Home Bill Bailey" so well on the guitar.
He started an English degree at Westfield College but left after a year.
He spent his early years listening to Monty Python records, and rehearsing with a band called the "Famous Five", who he himself confesses were very bad but still much better than him and who, unexpectedly, had only four members. However, he is a classically trained musician and received an Associateship Diploma from the London College of Music as well as being made an honorary member of the Society of Crematorium Organists. Despite this, he has said that he always had the temptation to be silly with music, a trait that influences his stand-up shows.
Bailey often mythologises his early years in his stand-up. In his show Bewilderness, he claims to have attended Bovington Gurney School of Performing Arts and Owl Sanctuary. He talks about a succession of jobs he had before becoming a comedian, including lounge pianist, crematorium organist, door-to-door door-salesman and accompanist for a mind-reading dog. A clip of Bailey's appearance in the dog's routine was shown during his Room 101 appearance. He also is self-deprecating about his appearance, suggesting he is so hairy that he is part troll, or that his hair or beard is a small animal named Lionel whom he has trained to sit 'very very still.'
Bailey also talks about his role as a "Disenfranchised Owl" in an experimental Welsh theatre troupe (mentioned in an interview with Australian newspaper Post). Other acting roles included a part in a Workers' Revolutionary Party stage production called The Printers, which also featured Vanessa Redgrave and Frances de la Tour. His trivia page on IMDb also claims that he was awarded Best Actor in the 1986 Institut Franais awards.
An avid Star Trek fan, he named his son (born 2003) after the Star Trek: Deep Space Nine character Dax and often refers to himself as a Klingon (once claiming during his "Part Troll" tour that his ear-mounted microphone made him resemble "a wizard in a call centre" and "a Klingon motivational speaker").
He currently lives in Hammersmith in London and supports Queens Park Rangers.
Career
Early stand-up
Bailey began touring the country with other comedians such as Mark Lamarr. In 1986 he formed a double act, the Rubber Bishops, with Toby Longworth (a former fellow pupil at King Edward's Bath) who was replaced in 1988 by Martin Stubbs. They achieved a certain amount of success on the club circuit, partly due to their rigorous schedule sometimes as many as three or four gigs a night. It was here that Bailey began developing his own unique style, mixing in musical parodies with deconstructions of or variations on traditional jokes ("How many amoebas does it take to change a lightbulb? One, no two! No four! No eight...") - according to comedy folklore, after a reviewer once criticised his act for its lack of jokes, Bailey returned the following night, at Queen Margaret College, Edinburgh, to perform a set composed entirely of punchlines.
Stubbs later quit to pursue a more serious career, and in 1994 Bailey performed Rock at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe with Sean Lock, a show about an aging rockstar and his roadie, script-edited by comedy writer Jim Miller. It was later serialised for the Mark Radcliffe show on BBC Radio 1. However, the show's attendances were not impressive and on one occasion the only person in the audience was comedian Dominic Holland. Bailey confessed in an interview with The Independent that he almost gave it up to do a telesales job.
He persevered, however, and went solo the next year with the one man show Bill Bailey's Cosmic Jam. The show was very well received and led to a recording at the Bloomsbury Theatre in London which was broadcast in 1996 on Channel 4 as a one-hour special called Bill Bailey Live. It was not until 2005 that this was released in DVD uncut and under its original title. It marked the first time that Bailey had been able to tie together his music and post-modern gags with the whimsical rambling style he is now known for.
After supporting Donna McPhail in 1995 and winning a Time Out award, he returned to Edinburgh in 1996 with a critically acclaimed show that was nominated for the Perrier Comedy Award. Amongst the other nominees was future Black Books co-star Dylan Moran, who narrowly beat him in the closest vote in the award's history.
Bailey won the Best Live Stand-Up award at the British Comedy Awards, 1999.
Television
Though he didn't win the Perrier in 1996, the nomination was enough to get him noticed, and in 1998 the BBC gave him his own television show, Is It Bill Bailey?
This was not Bailey's first foray into television. His debut was on the children's TV show Motormouth in the late 1980s, playing piano for a mind-reading dog.The trick went hilariously wrong, and Bailey reminisced about the experience on the BBC show Room 101 with Paul Merton in 2000. In 1991, he was appearing in stand-up shows such as The Happening, Packing Them In, The Stand Up Show, and The Comedy Store. He also appeared as captain on two panel games, an ITV music quiz pilot called Pop Dogs, and the poorly received Channel 4 sci-fi quiz show, Space Cadets. However Is it Bill Bailey? was the first time he had written and presented his own show.
With his star on the rise and gaining public recognition, over the next few years, Bailey made well received guest appearances on shows such as Have I Got News For You, World Cup Comedy, Room 101, Des O'Connor Tonight, Coast to Coast and three episodes of off-beat Channel 4 sitcom Spaced, in which he played comic-shop manager Bilbo Bagshot.
In 1998, Dylan Moran approached him with the pilot script for Black Books, a Channel 4 sitcom about a grumpy bookshop owner, his put-upon assistant, and their neurotic female friend. It was commissioned in 2000, and Bailey took the part of the assistant Manny Bianco, with Moran playing the owner Bernard, and Tamsin Greig the friend, Fran. Three series of six episodes were made, building up a large cult fanbase, providing the public awareness on which Bailey would build a successful national tour in 2001.
When Sean Hughes left his long-term role as a team captain on Never Mind the Buzzcocks in 2002, Bailey became his successor. His style quickly blended into the show, possibly helped by his background in music. He soon developed a rapport of sorts with host Mark Lamarr, who continually teased him about his looks and his pre-occupation with woodland animals. It was announced on the 18th of September 2008 that Bill would be leaving the series and be replaced by a series of guest captains including Jack Dee and Dermot O'Leary. Whilst touring in 2009, Bailey joked that his main reason for leaving the show was a lack of desire to continue humming Britney Spears' Toxic to little known figures in the indie music scene.
Bailey has appeared frequently on the intellectual panel game QI since it began in 2003, appearing alongside host Stephen Fry and regular panellist Alan Davies. Other television appearances include a cameo role in Alan Davies' drama series Jonathan Creek as failing street magician Kenny Starkiss and obsessed guitar teacher in the "Holiday" episode of Sean Lock's Fifteen Storeys High. He later appeared with Lock again as a guest on his show TV Heaven, Telly Hell. He has also appeared twice on Friday Night with Jonathan Ross.
Bailey also presented Wild Thing I Love You which began on Channel 4 on 15 October 2006. The series focuses on the protection of Britain's wild animals, and has included rehoming badgers, owls, and water voles.
Bailey has most recently appeared in the second series of the E4 teenage "dramedy" Skins playing Maxxie's Dad, Walter Oliver. In episode 1, Walter struggles with his son's desire to be a dancer, instead wishing him to become a builder, which is what he himself does for a living. Walter is married to Jackie, played by Fiona Allen.
Bailey appeared on the first episode of Grand Designs Live on 4 May 2008, helping Kevin McCloud build his eco-friendly home. In 2009 Bailey appeared in the BBC show "Hustle" as the Character "Cyclops", a side-line character. In the Autumn of 2009 Bailey will be presenting, Bill Bailey's Big Bird Watch.
International tours
Bailey in concert, 2007 Photo: Brian Marks
In 2001, Bailey began touring the globe with Bewilderness, which became a huge success. A recording of a performance in Swansea was released on DVD the same year, and the show was broadcast on Channel 4 that Christmas. A modified version of it also proved successful in America, and in 2002 Bill released a CD of a recording at the WestBeth Theatre in New York. The show contained all his trademarks, popular music parodies (such as Unisex Chip Shop, a Billy Bragg tribute which he actually performed with Billy Bragg at the 2005 Glastonbury Festival), "three men in a pub" jokes (including one in the style of Geoffrey Chaucer) and deconstructions of television themes such as Countdown and The Magic Roundabout. A 'Bewilderness' CD was sold outside gigs, which was actually just a mixture of studio recordings of songs and monologues Bill had performed in the past - it was later released in shops as Bill Bailey: The Ultimate Collection... Ever!. That same year he also presented a Channel 4 countdown, Top Ten Prog Rock.
Bailey premiered his show Part Troll at the 2003 Edinburgh Festival Fringe. A critical and commercial success, he then transferred it to the West End where tickets sold out in under 24 hours, and new dates had to be added. Since then he has toured it all over the UK as well as in America, Australia and New Zealand. The show marked the first time Bailey had really tackled political material, as he expanded on subjects such as the war on Iraq, which he had only touched upon before in his Bewilderness New York show. He also talks extensively on drugs, at one point asking the audience to name different ways of baking cannabis. A DVD was released in 2004.
2005 finally saw the release of his 1995 show Bill Bailey's Cosmic Jam. The 2-disc set also contained a director's cut of Bewilderness, which featured a routine on Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of Time not seen in the original version.
Bailey performed at show at the 2006 Edinburgh Festival Fringe entitled "Steampunk". It looked set to become the fastest selling fringe show ever (The previous record holder also being Bailey in The Odd Couple in 2005.) But a ticketing mix-up forced the last 10% of tickets to be Purchased in person from the venue rather than pre-booked, meaning the venue filled at a slower overall rate than it should have.
Bailey appeared at the Beautiful Days festival in August 2007. The UK leg of the Tinselworm tour enjoyed 3 sell-out nights at the MEN Arena in Manchester, Europe's largest indoor arena, and culminated with a sell-out performance at Wembley Arena.
Early in 2007, a petition was started to express fans' wishes to see him cast as a dwarf in the 2010 film The Hobbit, after his stand-up routine mentioned auditioning for Gimli in The Lord of the Rings. The petition reached its goal in the early days of January, and was sent to the producers. It was hoped that as the Tinselworm tour took him to Wellington in New Zealand where the film is in pre-production, that he would be able to audition..
Other appearances
In 2000 he had a small role in British comedy film Saving Grace, and also voiced the sperm whale in 2005's The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie.
In 2002, Bailey provided the voice for a BMW Mini advertising campaign, as well as writing and performing a series of British Airways adverts in which, through the use of music, he took a humorous look at several locations around the world.
Bailey has also performed dramatic roles in two Edinburgh Festival Fringe shows, both directed by Guy Masterson. He played Juror #4 in a 2003 version of Twelve Angry Men featuring comedians in the roles of the jurors and also co-starred as Oscar in a 2005 production of The Odd Couple alongside Alan Davies.
Radio appearances include two episodes each of Chain Reaction, The 99p Challenge, I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, and three episodes of Just a Minute, as well as presenting Good Vibrations: The History of the Theremin, co-hosting the first series of The Museum Of Curiosity and appearing on Loose Ends.
In 2005, he appeared in Birmingham, as an act for "Jasper Carrott's Rock with Laughter". He appeared alongside performers such as Bonnie Tyler, Jasper Carrott, Lenny Henry, Bobby Davro and the Lord of the Dance troupe.
Bill Bailey was due to appear in Shaun of the Dead, but in the commentary included with the DVD Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright said that he was not in the film because he was busy with other commitments at the time. He did however have two minor roles as the desk sergeant twins in Pegg and Wright's 2007 film Hot Fuzz.
Bill Bailey hosting So You Think You're Funny.
In February 2007 Bailey organised, produced and starred in a West End show called Pinter's People, a collection of sketches by playwright Harold Pinter. The show also starred Kevin Eldon, Sally Phillips and Geraldine McNulty.
In March 2007, Bill Bailey appeared at the International Human Beatbox Convention at the South Bank Centre in London, introducing Shlomo to the stage for the climax of the concert, as well as showing off his own beatboxing.
On 4 May 2007, he appeared as the guest presenter of BBC One's Have I Got News for You and again on the 9 May 2008.
In July 2007, Bill Bailey narrated a series of animated reading books for dyslexic children called 'Nessy Tales'.
On 9 June 2008 Bailey was the guest on Radio 4's Desert Island Discs and, later the same day, appeared in the first episode of an adaptation of The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists on the same station.
Also in June Bill made a guest appearance on the Australian show 'Rove Live' and whilst in a questionnaire to win $20 in 20 seconds, answered the question; "Who would you turn gay for?" by replying; "The pope"
In September, he was one of the hosts of the So You Think You're Funny comedy gala at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
On 12 November 2008, Bill was one of the performers of "We Are Most Amused", a special comedy performance to celebrate the 60th birthday of Prince Charles.
Music
Bailey is a talented pianist and guitarist and has perfect pitch. His stand-up routines often feature music from genres such as jazz, rock (most notably prog rock from the early seventies), drum'n'bass, rave and classical, usually for comic value. Favourite instruments include the keyboard, guitar, theremin, kazoo and bongos. He also mentioned in an interview that he has achieved Grade 6 Clarinet. He was also part of punk band Beergut 100, which he founded in 1995 with comedy writer Jim Miller and also featured Martin Trenaman and Phil Whelans, with Kevin Eldon as lead singer. The band performed at the 2006 Edinburgh Festival Fringe. Trenaman and Welans had previously appeared in Cosmic Jam under the name "The Stan Ellis Experiment", and Trenaman and Eldon later featured with John Moloney in the Kraftwerk homage "Das Hokey Kokey" on the Part Troll tour. Bill claims that he and the three other performers are a Kraftwerk tribute band called Augenblick. To mark the final gig of the Part Troll tour on 1 January 2005 the band reappeared on stage after the "Das Hokey Kokey" joke to play an hour-long encore of music.
In February 2007, Bill appeared on two occasions with the BBC Concert Orchestra and Anne Dudley in a show entitled Cosmic Shindig. Performed in The Colosseum in Watford on 24 February and in the Queen Elizabeth Hall on 26 February, the show contained orchestrally accompanied versions of many of Bill's previously performed songs, an exploration of the instruments of the orchestra and a number of new pieces of music. The Queen Elizabeth Hall performance was aired on BBC Radio 3 on 16 March 2007 as a part of Comic Relief 2007.
Bill had planned to put himself forward as Britain's Eurovision entry in 2008, as a result of several fan petitions encouraging him to do so.
In October 2008 he performed Bill Bailey's Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra at the Royal Albert Hall with the BBC Concert Orchestra, conducted by Anne Dudley.
In November 2009 he was a guest on Private Passions, the biographical music discussion programme on BBC Radio 3.
Future
As of September 2008, Bailey is working on a film project about the explorer and naturalist Alfred Russel Wallace, in the form of an Indonesian travelogue. Bailey said in an interview that Wallace had been "airbrushed out of history", and that he feels a "real affinity" with him.
Selected works
Tours
Cosmic Jam (1995)
Bewilderness (2001)
Part Troll (2004)
Steampunk (2006)
Tinselworm (2008)
Bill Bailey Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra (2009)
DVDs
Bewilderness (12 November, 2001)
Part Troll (22 November, 2004)
Cosmic Jam (7 November, 2005)
Bill Bailey - The Classic Collection (27 November, 2006) (Boxset featuring Bewilderness, Part Troll and Cosmic Jam)
Tinselworm (10 November, 2008)
Bill Bailey - The Collector's Edition (10 November, 2008) (Boxset featuring Bewilderness, Part Troll, Cosmic Jam and Tinselworm)
Bill Bailey's Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra (23 November, 2009)
Bill Bailey - The Inevitable Boxset (23 November, 2009) (Boxset featuring Bewilderness, Part Troll, Cosmic Jam, Tinselworm and Bill Bailey's Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra)
Books
The Many Moods of Bill Bailey (A song book which collects 9 of Bill's most popular songs from the period of 1995-2005. Including instructions from Bill himself (which ventures into how they were created) and pictures) (2007)
TV/Film
Blue Heaven (Channel 4 TV series) (1994)
Asylum (1996)
Space Cadets (1997) (Regular Team Captain)
Is It Bill Bailey? (1998)
Spaced (19992001)
Have I Got News for You (Guest - 1999, 2001, 2005. Guest Presenter - 2007, 2008, 2009)
Saving Grace (2000)
Maid Marian and her Merry Men (1992). Cameo court jester to King John
Black Books (20002004)
Jonathan Creek
"Satan's Chimney" (2001)
"The Tailor's Dummy" (2003)
Wild West (20022004)
Never Mind the Buzzcocks (20022008) (Regular team captain)
QI (2003resent) (Frequent guest)
"15 Storeys High" - "The Holiday" (2004)
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005) (Voice of the Sperm Whale)
The Libertine (Small cameo role as advisor to Charles II of England).
Wild Thing I Love You (2006) (Presenter)
Top Gear (A Star in a Reasonably-Priced Car)
Hot Fuzz (2007)
Run Fatboy Run (2007) (Cameo)
Skins (2008)
Love Soup (2008)
We Are Most Amused (2008) (One-off special)
Hustle
"Return of the Prodigal" (2009)
"Diamond Seeker" (2009)
Bill Bailey's Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra (2009)
Steve's World (2009)
Burke and Hare (2010)
Bill Bailey's Bird Watching Bonanza (2010)
References
^ a b "Bill Bailey". screenonline. http://www.screenonline.org.uk/people/id/1191391/.
^ a b "@BillBailey". Twitter. http://twitter.com/RealBillBailey/status/7701657445. "@BillBailey". Twitter. http://twitter.com/RealBillBailey/status/7707832487. "@BillBailey". Twitter. http://twitter.com/RealBillBailey/status/9570692935.
^ "Channel 4's 100 Greatest Stand Ups". http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/tv/microsites/C/comedy_standups/results/results.html. [dead link]
^ a b c "Desert Island Discs featuring Bill Bailey". Desert Island Discs. BBC. Radio 4. 2008-06-08.
^ "Comedy Map of Britain". News Events & Diary. King Edward's School, Bath. 2007. http://www.kesbath.com/cgi-local/artman/exec/search.cgi?cat=1&fields=art_num&keyword=1553&template=index/newspage.htm. Retrieved 2007-02-02.
^ "People are obsessed by how I look", The Independent, 21 November 2008.
^ "Episode 1 - West London to the West Country". The Comedy Map of Britain. BBC 2. 2007-01-27.
^ "Bill Bailey - About Bill". http://www.billbailey.co.uk/about.php.
^ http://fourfourtwo.com/interviews/celebrityfans/49/article.aspx
^ http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7623854.stm
^ Bill Baileys Big Bird Watch
^ "All That Glitters". Wired, Croydon's listings magazine. http://www.wiredmag.co.uk/archive-feature.php?issue_id=50&feature_id=69. Retrieved 2007-12-31.
^ Gilded Balloon - So You Think You're Funny
^ Simon Neville (2006). "Looking back at a week of Fringe madness". living.scotsman.com. http://living.scotsman.com/topics.cfm?tid=1484&id=1247052006. Retrieved 2007-01-02.
^ Natbat (2006). "Kevin Eldon Interview". notbbc.co.uk. http://www.notbbc.co.uk/features/15/kevin_eldon_interview.html. Retrieved 2007-01-02.
^ "The essential guide to Edinburgh". Special report Edinburgh 2006. Guardian Unlimited. 2006. http://arts.guardian.co.uk/edinburgh2006/story/0,,1826826,00.html. Retrieved 2007-01-02.
^ Eurovision (Latest News)
^ "Bill Bailey's Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra". guardian.co.uk. http://www.guardian.co.uk/stage/2008/oct/17/comedy. Retrieved 2008-10-20.
^ BBC Radio 3
^ "How Bill got his groove". Sydney Morning Herald. http://www.smh.com.au/text/articles/2008/09/06/1220121596375.html. Retrieved 2008-09-15.
^ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0371724/ "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy", IMDB
External links
Wikiquote has a collection of quotations related to: Bill Bailey
Wikimedia Commons has media related to: Bill Bailey
Bill Bailey -- official website.
Bill Bailey at the Internet Movie Database.
Bill Bailey discography at Discogs.
Bill Bailey at the British Film Institute's Screenonline.
Bill Bailey on Chortle.
v d e
Black Books
Characters
Bernard Black Manny Bianco Fran Katzenjammer
Actors
Dylan Moran Bill Bailey Tamsin Greig
Other
List of Black Books episodes
Persondata
NAME
Bailey, Bill
ALTERNATIVE NAMES
Bailey, Mark
SHORT DESCRIPTION
English stand-up comedian, actor and musician
DATE OF BIRTH
24 February 1964
PLACE OF BIRTH
Bath, Somerset, England
DATE OF DEATH
PLACE OF DEATH
Categories: 1964 births | English comedians | Alumni of the Royal Academy of Music | Alumni of Westfield College | English comedy musicians | English guitarists | English buskers | English stand-up comedians | Living people | People from Bath | People from Keynsham | Never Mind the BuzzcocksHidden categories: All articles with dead external links | Articles with dead external links from January 2010 | Articles needing additional references from December 2009 | All articles needing additional references
About the Author
I am China Crafts Suppliers writer, reports some information about stainless drink holder , stainless steel drink holder.
Cell Death according to Monty Python (cell death for dummies)
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Sunday, 18 September 2011
Perl For Dummies
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About the Author
Creating series of letters with LaTeX and perl
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Becoming a Webmaster for Dummies
There is no doubt that we are living in an "information age" or "computer age" where most of the major work is done through computers and internet and sharing of information has become considerably an easy task. With the evolution of Internet the life has become relatively easy that almost all the major industries are now running their business through computers and internet. Million thousands of websites are now available on internet for different purposes. Those who are responsible behind the development and designing of these websites are known as "Webmasters."
Webmasters are usually those people who are familiar with HTML, scripting, coding and web languages like JavaScript, Perl and PHP. The duties of a webmaster are not just limited to the publishing and managing of a website's content, he or she has a wide range of responsibilities associated with the website's overall functionality. It is not at all necessary to have any formal education to become a webmaster; your skills are your power. But having any certification will definitely be a boost to your skills. Following are given few tips which help you to become a good webmaster.
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- Web development is a vast field. It involves more than publishing and programming. You have to be a designer and good writer as well. A single website contains too much of information and interfaces, so you have to be well aware of the key things which you should know being a webmaster.
- Always try to take on the area of field, in which you are more productive and experienced.
About the Author
You might want to learn about 5 Information to Expanding Your Client Base and also Become a Webmaster?
Creating series of letters with LaTeX and perl
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Tuesday, 6 September 2011
Mathematics For Dummies
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Anyone know of a good basic/short ASVAB study guide?
Right Brain Math: Mappings and Block Ciphers for dummies
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Anyone know of a good basic/short ASVAB study guide?
I don't need a smart-ass remark about the military or your own personal thoughts on anything whatsoever, just a recommendation about which ASVAB study guides are short and basic. I checked-out the ASVAB FOR DUMMIES book, but its not what I am looking for. I really want a to-the-point Mathematics section, with the BASICS and formulas. I am going ARMY, but have been to the Air Force recruiters office and scored well enough to get in there, so the Army should be cake. Thats why I just want basic review and whats covered. Thanks!
Dont go with asvab for dummies cause who its intended for are, well, in the name. In truth there is no short asvab guide if you want to excel in it. They do offer them but if you wana score high go with the Princeton review 3rd edition ASVAB study guide. It has very thorough math and reading sections which are the most important. It also covers the sub sections which are somewhat important cause if you dont score high enough in some of these they wont let you do certain jobs. But dont freak out, you dont have to do extremely well in the sub sections to qualify. Just really basic shit. There is one book i saw at boarders that is a 2 week study guide, but i didnt use it. If you devote some study time, you can work through the Princeton review in about 2 weeks, maybe a week but i dont recommend that cause you will over saturate yourself. Also check out this link http://usmilitary.about.com/od/miscshopping/tp/asvab.htm It has the top ten study guides for the asvab. Personally i recommend the Princeton Review though because i used it and it worked for me. Another one to look at is the Kaplan 2011 edition, but it focuses more on the sub sections. They also both cover the test very well and tell you everything you would want to know. One tip encase you dont get these is that if your questions get harder and harder, you are doing well. The test adjust with how you are doing. If you start getting addition problems your in trouble!!!! Hope this helps good luck with your military career!
Right Brain Math: Mappings and Block Ciphers for dummies
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Tuesday, 16 August 2011
Peoplesoft For Dummies
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Thursday, 11 August 2011
Pro Tools For Dummies
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Ableton for the COMPLETE BEGINNER?
Producing For Dummies!! Enroll now!
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Ableton for the COMPLETE BEGINNER?
Hiya guys just a little about my musical background. I am a pianist and mostly play an upright grand and really have my mind set on the roland stage synthesizer. I have just acquired a copy of ableton live 8 suite and through some videos on youtube i found that music composition seemed very intuitive while using ableton's production compared to pro tools and software of that sort. I have some ideas and would really like to lay them down using ableton but I HAVE NO CLUE HOW. I am looking for some resources for the complete beginner. I haven't a single clue about using software like this and would like for you to keep this in consideration. I have looked at other software including FL studio and things of that sort but since I currently have just ableton to work with and would really like to be able to use this program well to expand my musical horizons.
So to sum it up! I need a dummy's guide to ableton live 8 suite.
thanks
There are MANY Ableton tutorials on Youtube. And the best part is they are all free! Also, if you actually purchased your copy of Ableton, you have access to all of the tutorials in the Ableton Forums on their website.
Producing For Dummies!! Enroll now!
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Friday, 1 July 2011
R For Dummies
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About the Author
TV R 4 Dummies
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What's the Real Deal? Can Dummy Cameras Work with the Perception of Security
In many homes and establishments, where there are real video surveillance cameras, there are also dummy cameras installed. Dummy cameras are often utilized to work in conjunction with fully functional surveillance equipment in order to discourage illegal or dangerous actions. These can range from theft and shoplifting to burglary and home invasion to physical assault. Dummy cameras are even used to discourage certain misdemeanors. With dummy cameras around, even people who merely have intentions of playing pranks will be more wary of their behavior. What dummy cameras do is encourage the perception security, allowing people to believe that an area is secured and that surveillance is present because of the security equipment that they see.
The role of dummy cameras on the perception of security
It may seem like a negative connotation but dummy cameras act on fear -- people's fear of being caught on camera doing something unlawful or embarrassing. The fact that taped video evidence obtained through surveillance equipment such as video cameras may be used to prosecute someone also doesn't help stave off that fear.
Dummy cameras provide a visual reminder for anyone that the area where they are located is being monitored, even if it isn't. That visual reminder is, in most cases, quite effective in discouraging an act that may be deemed inappropriate or illegal. It's the equivalent of telling kids that there are chemicals mixed in the pool water that will change color if someone urinates in the water -- it prevents a crime or an inappropriate act by essentially giving out the signal that someone's watching, even if you thought no one's looking.
Can dummy cameras really deter crime?
Although there are some groups that dismiss the efficacy of fake cameras to prevent crime, more people are convinced that they do work. Otherwise, why would dummy cameras still be experiencing healthy sales if they have a high failure rate? It's the perception of security that they build on, making people believe that certain restrictions are indeed in place and that there are possible legal consequences if and when these restrictions are breached.
Advantages of dummy cameras
Dummy cameras, due to the nature of their functions, are easy to install. Pick a good spot, put it up and it can begin working immediately. They also do not require purchase of additional accessories such as extra cables and connections. Because they are not equipped with lens and microchips, dummy cameras are significantly cheaper to purchase and maintain.
About the Author
A dummy camera can do a lot to help promote and maintain the perception of security.
TV R 4 Dummies
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Thursday, 23 June 2011
Php For Dummies
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About the Author
PHP For Dummies - Php Tutorial 1
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Webmaster, "ebooks-and-ezines.com"
I am a PHP dummy.
I have a lot of sites on the net and make a living in internet marketing and have always had to pay someone like Robert to build and make alterations to my sites so the simplicity of some of the functions in the ebook took me by surprise.
Example: chapter one which deals with peronalising web pages was such a doddle to achieve, and personalising a web page with someones name is probably the single most profitable change you can make to any ad copy.
People just sit up and take notice when they see their name in print, they get drawn in that much quicker and sales conversion always go up when this type of personalisation is used. Knowing how simple this is to do is the first step in saving me a great deal of time (and Money) and helping me to increase my earnings on line.
Chapter 2 threw me entirely into a spin, as an online businessman the biggest worry is the unsavoury element searching out the url to my product download pages and stealing my products. But here was a simple and profitable solution.
Profitable because now not only could I protect my download page but I had a reason to collect the customers email address, an email address was required in order to receive the password needed to access the download page.
No customer is going to object to handing over his/her email in order to receive a product they just paid for, and the second most important thing to achieve after the sale is to get their email address some how this nifty bit of php coding achieves both security of product and gathers their email address.
Im busy learning some of the other chapters, to find more gems.
Robert Puddy
AdvertisingKnowHow.com
For more information CLICK" _mce_href="http://www.youpaydotcom.com/CI?id=CI2">CLICK">http://www.youpaydotcom.com/CI?id=CI2">CLICK HERE!
About the Author
YouPayDotCom.com
PHP For Dummies - Php Tutorial 1
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Saturday, 18 June 2011
Psychology For Dummies
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About the Author
Psychology for dummies
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fx Trading for dummies styles options to help you pick a time frame to trade
An important step in your forex trading career in deciding which trading strategy you intend to trade, things that need to be considered are your ability to manage open positions around your work and personal life. It is not worth testing a system that is designed as a day trading system if you cannot go ahead and take trades it generates each day. So as a trader you are going to fit into one of the categories below.
Trading styles are usually categorized into 3 types:
1. Long-term
2. Short-term or swing
3. day-trading
1. Long Term Trading
Long term traders will normally trade daily charts looking for the larger moves in the market. Trades can last many weeks or months determined by your strategy. This strategy has an advantage with as a rule higher winning percentage of trades as stop are larger to deal with the short term swings in the market.
The main disadvantage in this is a much larger account is required to comfortably handle the stop size in the market as stops could be 300 pips or more. Greater discipline is required for this type of trading strategy as you could potentially only take one or two trades every 3 or 4 months.
2. Short Term trading or swing trading
Short term trading is probably the most sensible place to start for most traders, these trades are in more positions than longer term trading so therefore easier for you as a trader to maintain their positions psychology with less time in draw down and smaller stops in place. Trades may be open for a day or possible to a week in an attempt to catch more of the pullbacks in the market. 4 hour and 1 hour charts are most likely candidates here if you choose this form of trading with the hour chart a great place to work out entry points in the market.
3. Daytrading
Day trading is probably the most popular type of trading. Traders may take several trades each day even several per session. This can be a very aggressive trading strategy and most people will try this as it potentially has more chance of making several percent of profit on a daily basis.
Small profits or losses are taken which could also greatly enhance your risk if you don't employ a systematic trade plan outlining your most number of accepted losses per day or even percentage drawdown per day. More losses generally occur due to small stop losses, which are taken out with the larger short term moves caused by news.
I would suggest check out some charts to determine what strategy matches your needs. This is really simple and essential that why I believe it is fx trading for dummies
About the Author
Check out my blog Fx trading Factory for some information on what options are available to you as a trader. http://fxtradingfactory.com
Psychology for dummies
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Wednesday, 1 June 2011
C For Dummies Pdf
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Using VC++ Read and Edit PDF File and Output Results?
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Using VC++ Read and Edit PDF File and Output Results?
I am sent a pdf file every month that has probably 30K lines in it, and what I really need to see is about 1K or so. It is very hard to compare section to section when there are 50 lines of meaningless junk in between.
I am an experienced VC++, and K&R C programmer, so I probably don't need any help with the specific code writing. I need to find some library or other set of tools that will let me read in a pdf file, delete portions of the stream, and output back into pdf format.
I know that there are a plethora of pdf->rtf stand alone converters, where I can use software to convert the file to rtf, then I could edit, and finally output in pdf. This requires multiple programs, and a lot of human intervention. For reasons that are unimportant here, I need for this to be able to operate as a stand alone executable file. Sort of a Convert for Dummies.
Haven't been able to find any libraries but you can get the PDF file specification from http://www.adobe.com/devnet/pdf/pdf_reference.html
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Tuesday, 24 May 2011
Idiots Guide To C
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About the Author
The Complete Idiot's Guide to the New World Order
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A Weight Loss 4 Idiots Guide
If you are looking for an easy way to lose weight, then you need to check out Weight Loss 4 Idiots. Every year, millions of dollars are spent on weight loss programs, pills, and exercise equipment. When someone does a search of weight loss tips in Google, it pulls up 22 million sites. A person needs a Weight Loss 4 Idiots’ guide just to know what to do.
Low fat, low carb, and low calorie diets don’t work. All they do is lower your calorie intake, but your body is smarter than that -- your body is designed better than that. After a few days of low fat, low carb, or low calorie dieting, your body recognizes the decrease in calorie intake. Your body then adjusts its caloric needs to compensate for the lower calories, which is why you gain more weight back when you stop the diet. Once you stop the diet, your body is still using fewer calories than it did before. So your body takes the food you eat and stores it for the next time it has a shortage. It is a vicious cycle.
What does work? First, set a realistic goal. Trying to fit into your old prom dress is probably not going to happen. As we age, our bodies change. This is a natural progression and it does not mean you are fat. So set a goal that is appropriate for your age, sex, and body type.
Second, choose an appropriate weight loss program. There is a revolutionary weight loss program called Weight Loss 4 Idiots. It uses calorie shifting as a way to lose fat, fast. The idea is to use your body’s natural instincts to lose weight. By eating food in the right manner, you can trick your body into shedding the pounds.
Finally, come to terms with losing weight slowly. You put the weight on slowly and it will take awhile to get it off. Losing several pounds a day is not healthy and should not be attempted. If you lose more than one pound a day on Weight Loss 4 Idiots, then it is recommended to slow down and take a few days off.
For more details: http://www.strengthenmyhealth.com/best-weight-loss-program
About the Author
I am the owner of this site
The Complete Idiot's Guide to the New World Order
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Sunday, 17 April 2011
Math For Dummies
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Help-Math for Dummies!?
Not More Maths for Dummies 1.1: Sigma notation
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Help-Math for Dummies!?
Avirus scanning program is checking every file for viruses.
It has completed checking 40% of the files in 300 seconds. How long should it take
to check all the files?
450 more sec. normally. may extend depends on the size of a file
Not More Maths for Dummies 1.1: Sigma notation
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Wednesday, 2 March 2011
Agile For Dummies
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About the Author
Free Webinar: Why You Need Sales 2.0 Now
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Police Fitness Test Requirements - Advise On The Physical Agility Test
Police Fitness Test Requirements - Learn About The Physical Abilities Test
As a certified personal trainer, and a police officer going on almost a decade now, I'm always shocked when someone arrives at the police fitness test severely under-prepared, and out of shape. Seriously there is no excuse for that since you are notified 2-3 months ahead of time. That's more than enough time to train, and prepare yourself physically.
However time and time again candidates show up sloppy, and severely out-of-shape. There's really only one logical conclusion for being in poor physical shape - LAZINESS. You never want to be tagged as a lazy recruit when seeking a police job, especially when some of the people who are influential in getting you hired may be at the test date helping administer the test. YIKES!
That's why it's vital to always put your best foot forward during the selection process because you never know who is the decision maker in terms of deciding to hire you or someone else.
Police Fitness Requirements For Recruits
The police fitness requirements may differ from department to department but all of them seek to evaluate three major fitness categories:
- Muscular Strength and Endurance
- Anaerobic Power
- Aerobic Power
Usually the test will begin by evaluating your strength and endurance which consists of sit-ups, push-ups, and maybe depending on the agency pull-ups. Once you are done with that exercise station, you'll be directed to the 300 meter sprint. Right after that you'll have to complete the 1.5 mile run and/or the dummy drag or sometimes the obstacle course.
All of these exercise station are timed and you must complete each exercise under a certain time frame. I can't for sure give you an accurate time requirement because it varies from agency to agency. Regardless of the time, the bottom-line is you must be in excellent physical shape to pass the Police Fitness Test
If you want to sail through the police fitness test, while other applicants are gassed, follow a police specific workout program at http://www.PassThePoliceFitnessTest.com
About the Author
Officer Forestal has a bachelor's degree in criminal justice, 8 years law enforcement experience and is a graduate of the 2002 Police Corps, where he was recognized as an expert shooter. Former Collegiate all-American, certifield personal trainer and author of several fitness and police related books such as the Police Oral Board Success Guide, and Police Exam For Dummies. As a Law Enforcement enthusiast, E.L. has helped hundreds of candidates "ACE" their respective entrance exam and the oral board interview.
Free Webinar: Why You Need Sales 2.0 Now
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Friday, 18 February 2011
Sql For Dummies Free Download
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About the Author
battle programming 2011 3rd edition
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Covered All Of 1Z0-051 Objectives In Oracle
What was that whizzing sound? It was you, passing the Oraclecertification exam. After you've covered all of 1Z0-051 objectives in Oracle For Dummies, Oracle Database: SQL Fundamentals I will be new tools to add to your skill set. We provide you the best solution to gain a certification. We provide you the free Online Tutorial to prepare all exams. These consists of many type of great things like Study Guides, Questions and Answers, Previous exams, Braindumps, audio material and many other things.Although this exam regardless of difficulty. But as long as the correct methods of learning coupled with Exambible's 1Z0-051 study materials.You will be able to pass the exam easily with high score.
1Z0-051 exam for the majority of our aspiring to join the IT industry to provide a convenient way! However, we recommend that you have the appropriate knowledge and under the premise of the exam and then refer to our product, easy to pass the exam.Maybe you aren't sure of what you are reading right now. That is alright. It happens. You don't need to go back and read it all again. We are saying it out aloud. Studying with Certpaper "Questions and Answers" GUARANTEES you successes at your first try at 1Z0-051.
With Oracle 1Z0-051 questions and answers you will be able to reshape your future goals with these powerful Oracle questions and answers, including explanations, demonstrating the correct value after answering.Comprehensive questions with complete details and Verified Answers Researched by Industry Experts of 1Z0-051 is what Exambible is working hard for you,you will never ever disappoint if you use Exambible Oracle Oracle 1Z0-051: Oracle Database: SQL Fundamentals I.
Exambible provides full examination newest best subject, and free downloadable problem produce professional demo and experiment. If there is a need to download produce professional Demo trial. We are glad to serve you, hope to help you.Ensure that the Oracle Database: SQL Fundamentals I (category) exam coverage always above 96%.
Web Demo:
1. View the Exhibit to examine the description for the SALES table.
Which views can have all DML operations performed on it? (Choose all that apply.)
A. CREATE VIEW v3
AS SELECT * FROM SALES
WHERE cust_id = 2034
WITH CHECK OPTION;
B. CREATE VIEW v1
AS SELECT * FROM SALES
WHERE time_id WITH CHECK OPTION;
C. CREATE VIEW v2
AS SELECT prod_id, cust_id, time_id FROM SALES
WHERE time_id WITH CHECK OPTION;
D. CREATE VIEW v4
AS SELECT prod_id, cust_id, SUM(quantity_sold) FROM SALES
WHERE time_id GROUP BY prod_id, cust_id
WITH CHECK OPTION;
Answer: AB
2.View the Exhibit and examine the structure of the SALES, CUSTOMERS, PRODUCTS, and TIMES tables.
The PROD_ID column is the foreign key in the SALES table, which references the PRODUCTS table. Similarly, the CUST_ID and TIME_ID columns are also foreign keys in the SALES table referencing the CUSTOMERS and TIMES tables, respectively.
Evaluate the following CREATE TABLE command:
CREATE TABLE new_sales(prod_id, cust_id, order_date DEFAULT SYSDATE)
AS
SELECT prod_id, cust_id, time_id
FROM sales;
Which statement is true regarding the above command?
A. The NEW_SALES table would not get created because the DEFAULT value cannot be specified in the column definition.
B. The NEW_SALES table would get created and all the NOT NULL constraints defined on the specified columns would be passed to the new table.
C. The NEW_SALES table would not get created because the column names in the CREATE TABLE command and the SELECT clause do not match.
D. The NEW_SALES table would get created and all the FOREIGN KEY constraints defined on the specified columns would be passed to the new table.
Answer: B
3.Which two statements are true regarding single row functions? (Choose two.)
A. They a ccept only a single argument.
B. They c an be nested only to two levels.
C. Arguments can only be column values or constants.
D. They a lways return a single result row for every row of a queried table.
E. They c an return a data type value different from the one that is referenced.
Answer: DE
Related Exams:
1Z0-055 - Oracle-Database-11g:-New-Features-for-9i-OCPs
1z0-035 - orcacle9i-dba-new-features-for-oracle7.3-and-oracle9-ocps
1z0-222 - Oracle-Purchasing-11i-Fundamentals
1Z1-202 - Siebel-8-Consultant-Exam
1z0-255 - Hyperion-Essbase-7.1.2-Cnsultant
Search Help:
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About the Author
battle programming 2011 3rd edition
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Sunday, 6 February 2011
Dynamics For Dummies
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i need a good book to review separate for my statics and dynamics class?
Chemistry for dummies
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i need a good book to review separate for my statics and dynamics class?
ive taken statics and dynamics class for 2 years already, here in high school, and its impossible, though we get Fs the professor passes us with As. next year we will actually go to a real class in dual enrollment for both, statics and dynamics,and of course i realy want to do well. is there a good book that exxplains you everything well as a book for "dummies" or kind of a princeton review? it would also be good if it taught from the beginning and everything elemental, including integration and dereviation.
thanks, help appreciated
(if i could get it through amazon itd be a plus)
Schaum's outline of theory and problems of engineering mechanics : statics and dynamics / E.W. Nelson, Charles L. Best, W.G. McLean.
Chemistry for dummies
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Thursday, 3 February 2011
Microsoft Access For Dummies
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What is a good textbook or method of training for Microsoft Access 2007?
How to Create a Crosstab Query in Access 2010 For Dummies
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What is a good textbook or method of training for Microsoft Access 2007?
I am realizing how useless my english degree is and I need to market myself a little better, so I want to familiarize myself with Microsoft Access and eventually take a certification test. Any recommendations? Im not looking to lay down a bunch of money on formal courses. I just need some books or training software that is a little more indepth than access for dummies.
You can't go wrong with any of the O'Reilly books. More than just a Dummies book. Well written, detailed info and always updated to the latest version of Access.
How to Create a Crosstab Query in Access 2010 For Dummies
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Friday, 14 January 2011
Vb.net For Dummies
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what is the quickest & best way to learn VB.net , xml, HTML, flash..say in 1 month..?
VB.NET Express for dummies
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what is the quickest & best way to learn VB.net , xml, HTML, flash..say in 1 month..?
I have little programming experience.& I have to start working to support my family... i cant afford to join coaching ...any step by step suggestions for a dummy...please help...
First of all, if you want to learn all of those 1 month, words cannot describe how much work you would need to put into it. I'm talking about getting books and completing 200 pages of learning in 2 days
It is possible, but it is exhausting, I know from experience. This is from someone who knows (X)HTML, CSS, MySQL, PHP, Dreamweaver, and Photoshop, amongst other things.
Your best bet FOR NOW, is the same way I did it. Go to amazon.com, and search for the thing your trying to learn, in the book section. For example......
I want to learn Photoshop. I go to the book section, type photoshop, and make the search results bring back the best reviewed books that match those words. You will get the names of the books that have excellent reviews, and then you either go and buy them off of Amazon, or you take the names down and go into book stores and buy them.
To learn, you have to be learning from some of the best teachers/sources possible, which is why I say get books which only have stellar reviews (5 stars, many reviews, etc).
Also use the internet to start finding resources. Once you find a good site, use that site to find other sites, and etc. I'll try to get you started.
http://www.w3schools.com/
http://www.htmldog.com/
Those will definitely get you started. You can also use Digg, they have some good resources in the very very back of their databases.
But you will have to put your all into it man. And don't expect to be making professional sites in 1 month, people spend years studying this stuff. Your goal is to learn the basics and learn to grasp everything, and then go from there. But in the beginning if you get good enough, you can definitely start charging and the like.
VB.NET Express for dummies
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Friday, 7 January 2011
Idiots Guide To Linux
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how do i run linux on my tungsten e?
(Apple) Idiots Guide To Switching - Part 1
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how do i run linux on my tungsten e?
i came across a youtube video of a tungsten e running linux. i would appreciate an 'idiot's/dummies' type of guide on linux, how to install it etc. i also want to know where i can find programs that i can use once linux is installed in my tunsgten. thank you.
http://www.handhelds.org/moin/moin.cgi/PalmTungstenE2HowTo
This isn't exactly an "Idiot's Guide", as it wasn't not intended to be something that a "newbie" would understand (though I understand most of it). But it mostly seems to be just executing a couple commands in the console, and "compiling", where most of the work is done for you.
(Apple) Idiots Guide To Switching - Part 1
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Friday, 26 November 2010
Computer Programming For Dummies
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About the Author
Java Simplified Tutorial 1 - What is Java?
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English Composition For Dummies Tool - Big Surprise !
Based on experiences of actual users, we know that an English composition for dummies tool will better your skills with the english language quickly and easily. Other people see your writing as a look at your background and history and your level of expertise in your particular field. In the next few paragraphs, i'll let you in on something that's designed to help people born speaking english as well as learners of english as a second language.
Click here for an English composition for dummies tool!
Writing articles or essays with glaring grammatical errors is quite upsetting. One day when i happened to be looking on the internet for a way to assist me with my english writing, there was something that piqued my interest. Surely most of us thought that this was the impossible dream, but we were proven wrong when an advanced artificial intelligence that helps you with your writing struggles became reality. Distinct from the word processing programs most of are familiar with, this program is capable of not only repairing writing troubles - it can even "grade" (from one to five) your english writing. Perhaps you've had the experience of finding an embarrassing grammar error as you're handing your Essay for example.
It is almost certain that anyone currently searching the internet for grammar end english writing solutions will almost definitely encounter this one-of-a-kind system. Through the use of these applications, your text will be more correct and accurate, even if english is currently a struggle. Due to the fact that this utility is right on your computer, it can help you to create excellent output in any of our text based applications such as Emails, office applications, etc. These days, with such an abundance of modern know-how, whatever goals we set for ourselves are doable.
Really, is it possible that an English composition for dummies tool be able to transform our current writing practices and the quality of the final result? Time will tell. For many people, i am sure that this solution will be an excellent substitute for a costly proofreading agency. According to the creators of this solution, this solution has been put to use by countless struggling english writers around the world. By the end of this article You have nothing to lose by trying out this program - it's possible to start reaping the rewards with just a few clicks of your mouse. Another feature of this system: if you have children that go to school, you will find that this system will help them to build a strong foundation in english.
About the Author
Want to write English like a professional in just a few minutes?
Visit: EnglishSoftwareGuide.com
Java Simplified Tutorial 1 - What is Java?
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Wednesday, 10 November 2010
Guides For Dummies
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Thousands of people fail in our industry and I can understand why, but this guide will change things. It will open the eyes of many people and trigger the thoughts of those that are looking to succeed. Are you one of those?
The first thing I would like to talk about in this network marketing for dummies guide is the idea of HOW to succeed in this type of marketing field.
Success comes in many forms. It can be via you getting paid, it can be via you getting your first leads, it can be via you getting your first numbers of traffic, there are loads of ways you can see success.
Some may argue that success is only when you are making the big bucks but it is not about the final destination, it is about the journey that you had to travel in order to reach that destination.
I am saying that because you cannot get the big bucks without traffic. You cannot get the big bucks without any leads and you certainly will not get the big bucks if you do not take action!
Which smoothly brings me onto the first topic in this network marketing for dummies guide and that is the idea of taking action. I would argue that this is most probably the #1 reason why thousands of people fail in our industry.
Let me put it this way-if you have no food in the house what do you do? You TAKE ACTION and go to the supermarket or wherever you get your groceries from. If you want to buy a car or any other product, you TAKE ACTION and you go and purchase it! The exact same thing applies here because if you want success, you have to TAKE ACTION and do what is necessary to obtain it.
There are too many people that are too damn lazy to do anything themselves and expect things to just magically appear or happen for them. If you are one of those, then this network marketing for dummies guide is not for you! Those type of people that are lazy, are living in a dream world and will NEVER succeed period!
I say it how it is my friends and that is exactly what is going on in our industry and then the same people turn around and call everything a scam when they themselves have not done anything to succeed!
The second thing I want to share with you in this network marketing for dummies guide is the idea of consistency.
Action and consistency go together like bread and butter, milk and cereal or heads or tails on a coin! Taking action is good, that is something that a group of ordinary people will do.
But taking CONSISTENT action is great, and that is something that extraordinary people like Mike Dillard, Brian Fanale, Todd Falcone and Jonathon Budd do, and that is what separates them from everybody else.
I cannot remember who it was, but a man once said it is the small things you do day in and day out that will make a big difference. It's like when you build a wall, the wall does not just magically appear.
You have to begin by laying the first brick and then building on that before you have the finished product and that is one key idea in this network marketing for dummies guide. You will not succeed and have a profitable business by doing something here and there.
You have to pick one thing and do that on a consistent basis meaning every day, even when you do not feel like doing it. For example you could write and submit an article every day, or you could update your blog every day. Doing things like that WILL make a huge difference and cause a massive impact!
The chances are you WILL succeed because 95%+ people will NOT do those small things on a consistent basis, therefore you automatically have a monstrous advantage over them and following this network marketing for dummies guide will help put the nail in the coffin!
I guarantee that if you follow what I have said, you will begin to see a difference and start experiencing success in one way or another.
I hope you found this network marketing for dummies guide helpful in one way or another, because I have wrote it keeping YOU in mind and your best interests at heart hoping that you will follow it and gain MASSIVE SUCCESS!
About the Author
If you follow this
network marketing for dummies
guide I have given you, I guarantee you will begin to see an EXPLOSIVE difference in your business. Click on the following link to learn more information about
network marketing
before it is too late from network marketing mentor Saqib Khan.
source sdk guide for dummies
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[simpleaffiliate source="cj" results="10"]guides for dummies[/simpleaffiliate]
[simpleaffiliate source="clickbank" results="10"]guides for dummies[/simpleaffiliate]
Network Marketing For Dummies - A Guide To Success
This article will be transformed into a network marketing for dummies guide aimed to help you understand and succeed in network marketing.Thousands of people fail in our industry and I can understand why, but this guide will change things. It will open the eyes of many people and trigger the thoughts of those that are looking to succeed. Are you one of those?
The first thing I would like to talk about in this network marketing for dummies guide is the idea of HOW to succeed in this type of marketing field.
Success comes in many forms. It can be via you getting paid, it can be via you getting your first leads, it can be via you getting your first numbers of traffic, there are loads of ways you can see success.
Some may argue that success is only when you are making the big bucks but it is not about the final destination, it is about the journey that you had to travel in order to reach that destination.
I am saying that because you cannot get the big bucks without traffic. You cannot get the big bucks without any leads and you certainly will not get the big bucks if you do not take action!
Which smoothly brings me onto the first topic in this network marketing for dummies guide and that is the idea of taking action. I would argue that this is most probably the #1 reason why thousands of people fail in our industry.
Let me put it this way-if you have no food in the house what do you do? You TAKE ACTION and go to the supermarket or wherever you get your groceries from. If you want to buy a car or any other product, you TAKE ACTION and you go and purchase it! The exact same thing applies here because if you want success, you have to TAKE ACTION and do what is necessary to obtain it.
There are too many people that are too damn lazy to do anything themselves and expect things to just magically appear or happen for them. If you are one of those, then this network marketing for dummies guide is not for you! Those type of people that are lazy, are living in a dream world and will NEVER succeed period!
I say it how it is my friends and that is exactly what is going on in our industry and then the same people turn around and call everything a scam when they themselves have not done anything to succeed!
The second thing I want to share with you in this network marketing for dummies guide is the idea of consistency.
Action and consistency go together like bread and butter, milk and cereal or heads or tails on a coin! Taking action is good, that is something that a group of ordinary people will do.
But taking CONSISTENT action is great, and that is something that extraordinary people like Mike Dillard, Brian Fanale, Todd Falcone and Jonathon Budd do, and that is what separates them from everybody else.
I cannot remember who it was, but a man once said it is the small things you do day in and day out that will make a big difference. It's like when you build a wall, the wall does not just magically appear.
You have to begin by laying the first brick and then building on that before you have the finished product and that is one key idea in this network marketing for dummies guide. You will not succeed and have a profitable business by doing something here and there.
You have to pick one thing and do that on a consistent basis meaning every day, even when you do not feel like doing it. For example you could write and submit an article every day, or you could update your blog every day. Doing things like that WILL make a huge difference and cause a massive impact!
The chances are you WILL succeed because 95%+ people will NOT do those small things on a consistent basis, therefore you automatically have a monstrous advantage over them and following this network marketing for dummies guide will help put the nail in the coffin!
I guarantee that if you follow what I have said, you will begin to see a difference and start experiencing success in one way or another.
I hope you found this network marketing for dummies guide helpful in one way or another, because I have wrote it keeping YOU in mind and your best interests at heart hoping that you will follow it and gain MASSIVE SUCCESS!
About the Author
If you follow this
network marketing for dummies
guide I have given you, I guarantee you will begin to see an EXPLOSIVE difference in your business. Click on the following link to learn more information about
network marketing
before it is too late from network marketing mentor Saqib Khan.
source sdk guide for dummies
[simpleaffiliate source="amazon" results="10"]guides for dummies[/simpleaffiliate]
[simpleaffiliate source="cj" results="10"]guides for dummies[/simpleaffiliate]
[simpleaffiliate source="clickbank" results="10"]guides for dummies[/simpleaffiliate]
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