Truths About Weight Loss No One Tells You
Ever since you started contemplating losing weight, maybe as early as your late teens, you were possibly flooded with a myriad of information on nutrition and exercise. You could probably teach a class on how much exercise to do and foods to avoid in order to lose weight, but somehow you get back here.
Open any fitness magazine or any dummy book on weight management and dieting and they will all agree in one common denominator: to lose weight you need to move more and eat less, as if it were that easy and that simple.
Throughout the years, I have observed that there is a lot more to weight loss than most programs and diets are willing to tap into. What lies in the surface of what makes people fail goes much deeper than plain self-discipline and knowledge.
Concealed within the false promise that lasting weight loss can be easily achieved, the average person is left feeling disappointed with him or herself for not following through with a program or a diet.
Here are some of truths about weight loss in any weight management program. Hopefully, by reading through them you will understand the dynamics and changes that go beyond what you put in your mouth and do at the gym.
YOU WILL FAIL MANY TIMES
Lapses* and relapses** are a part of change.
Some afternoons, some days, some weeks, even a whole month (such as the end of the year holidays) can make your diet and efforts to change go down the drain. You might start believing that there is something utterly wrong with you and might even feed onto negative self-talk that will lead you to believe that you lack the willpower to change.
This negative self-talk will most likely influence the next lapse, and the next lapse after that. You are your worst enemy at those occasions.
Please know that everyone, thin or not, fit or not, has their lapse days. The difference between the people who succeed in making lasting lifestyle changes and the ones who don't, is that the first will not allow their small (or big) failures to bring their self-esteem and trust in themselves down. They will overeat or skip the gym for a few days, for instance, but then eat clean and go back to their exercise routine right after. They will also not berate themselves in the process.
These people will by no means perceive a healthier lifestyle as punishment. They will not under eat or over exercise after a lapse. Because they know that lapses are part of life, they will just go back to a healthy routine and trust themselves that they CAN have control over their choices. They have done it before. They can do it again.
You probably have that power within you too, and I will prove it to you.
If you are reading this is because you are concerned about your health and your weight. You have probably already started making enormous and important changes, even though you might not be aware of them and even if you have fallen off the wagon.
Looking back a few weeks, months and years ago, what kind of positive lifestyle changes have you made? Have you been more consistent with your work outs? Are you moving more? Are you eating more vegetables and fruits? Have you started eating more whole grains? Are you sleeping more (if you were deprived before)? Are you drinking less alcohol or have you quit alcohol? Are you fitting into smaller clothes? Do you have more energy? Do you feel less anxious and depressed? Are you eating less sugar? Are you facing more of your feelings instead of numbing them with any kind of addiction? Are you asking for help? Have you learned more about nutrition and know how to make better choices in a restaurant? Has your cholesterol, blood pressure or triglycerides improved?
Those are all huge improvements that most people are not aware that they have made. Focusing so much on the numbers on the scale might make you forget that.
If you have fallen off the wagon, on the other hand, try looking back to your life experiences. Most likely you have made good choices then, and you can go back to doing it again. Ask yourself these questions:
Was I ever active and participated in any kind of sports? You can do it again.
Was I ever able to lose weight (even if I didn't keep it off)? You can do it again.
Was I ever more active? Did I use to take more stairs and walked more? You can do it again.
Was I ever able to turn down unhealthy foods and eat something healthier? You can do it again.
Was I ever able to consume more vegetables and stay away from desserts? You can do it again.
A person who is successful in keeping a healthier lifestyle is the one who is able to dust themselves off after falling off the wagon and get back right up again.
THE SCALE DOES LIE (SOMETIMES)
The old adage, "The scale doesn't lie" no longer applies. The scale at times does lie, especially if you are a woman. Some days you might step on the scale and wonder, "Where in the world did this weight come from?" Depending on the time of the month, you might weigh up to five pounds more.
Let me tell you a story about a client. Let's call her Martha.
When Martha started training with me she was 52 years old and weighed 155 pounds. By measuring Martha's body fat percentage, I calculated it to be 32%.
Martha embarked in a three-day a week workout regimen of weight lifting and running. She also started eating more protein and consuming less sugar.
Fast forward a year later and I weighed Martha again. She was now 150 pounds. Now, isn't that disappointing for most people's standards? Martha lost only five pounds, according to the scale… but one could take one look at her and see that she had shrunk. Martha's pant's size had gone from a size 12 to a size 8 and she had lost 7 inches on her waist alone. Martha had now 24% body fat.
What happened to Martha was that she built a lot more muscle and lost body fat. Her body composition significantly changed, even though the scale didn't show it. Initially Martha wanted to lose 20 pounds to go back to the weight she had in her twenties, but now she looks at her 30-year-old pictures and thinks of herself then as gaunt and weak. She prefers her newfound muscles and better posture.
Having said that, I don't advise you to throw away your scale. I have seen people balloon up after doing this. The scale is still an important device of the many measurement strategies you can use to track your progress, but it shouldn't be the only one.
You can use a measuring tape and even your clothes to determine more visible body changes.
Here are some other simple calculations that I find useful:
http://home.fuse.net/clymer/bmi/
IT IS A MUCH MORE EMOTIONAL PROCESS THAN YOU HAVE IMAGINED
I have yet to find an overweight person whom doesn't battle with some type of anxiety.
Whenever you feed your body more energy (calories) than it needs is because something else is out of balance.
When starting a weight loss program, you may find that your emotional eating will nearly take over your thoughts and you may feel powerless over them.
You know the program and what to do, but then life happens and no one really has taught you how to cope with feelings without resorting to eating.
When you allow yourself to feel those uncomfortable feelings without numbing them with food or alcohol, you may find it to be overwhelmingly painful. I have had clients tell me that when they hired me, they only expected to do a few push-ups and follow a nutrition program. They never thought weight loss would bring up such a rainbow of emotions they had brushed off.
This self-knowledge and self-awareness is possibly the most important part of the weight loss process, for you cannot change your habits if you cannot change the way you think first.
(If you need a therapist that treats emotional eating, I know a very good one. She is doing a wonderful job with some of my clients.)
YOU WILL NEED SUPPORT
Attempting to lose weight might make you feel lonely. Every single one of my clients believe that their fears, frustrations, insecurities and struggles are theirs alone. If I could put every one in one room (and I do hope to start a weight loss support group), you would find out that you are far from alone, so reach out. Talk with your friends and significant others. Find yourself a sponsor; someone you can call or text when you are about to lapse.
Beware, however, of enablers. You might find that the people closest to you are the ones who will try and tempt you to cheat on your diet or sabotage your efforts to change your lifestyle. Learn to spot the people and the behavior that could disrupt your efforts and be specific with them on how they can really help.
If you are my client, don't hesitate to call, text or email me when you are about to lapse.
IT IS TIME AND MIND CONSUMING
Weight loss is not easy. You already knew that. What no one seems to talk about is that it is time consuming.
Think about lifestyle changes as going to school fulltime. You don't go to class and then back home to relax in front of your television. If you are serious about your classes, you study and do your homework.
The reason why I encourage food diaries is so my clients can become aware of what they are consuming (and sometimes feeling, if they are doing an emotional eating food diary) and can therefore make wiser choices. Also, the food diary can teach you what you should do differently next time a situation presents itself.
Food diaries are time consuming, though. I have heard from many clients that they do not have the kind of time to write a food diary or log their foods. Not surprisingly, those clients have a harder time making dietary changes and losing weight.
Exercise can also be time consuming. If you are not used to exercise, you will suddenly have to reorganize your schedule and priorities.
During the first phases of any lifestyle change, you might become obsessed with thinking about everything you should eat and do. You might imagine that this is how your life will always be in order to lead a healthy lifestyle and this may feel maddening.
Trust me that the more you practice and focus on the changes you are trying to make, the more they will become habits, and therefore will become second nature. I have seen it happen again and again.
When you feel like all of this is too much effort, try and remember why you are doing this. Recall all the nights you stayed in because nothing fit right, or the times you fought with the mirror. Remember how self-conscious you may feel and how much it affects your relationships. Finally, take in consideration what you doctor has warned you about your blood pressure, cholesterol and triglycerides. Also, pay attention to the statistics: more overweight people become diabetics and develop cancer than people of healthier weight.
IT WILL NOT HAPPEN OVERNIGHT
You didn't get to the weight that you have now from one day to the next. What you are and where you are right now is the result of millions of choices that you have made through many years.
Everlasting change will take time and weight loss that lasts should take time.
Stop comparing yourself to others. Each person loses weight at their own pace. People have different lifestyles and metabolisms. Stop believing the promises that most diets will give you, for your body may react differently.
Praise yourself for the changes that you have already made, focus on the ones that are most challenging, and the weight loss should follow.
Look back every so often to when you started this journey and notice how far you have already come. Those changes weren't fast nor easy, but you have made them, so keep going.
"Never, never, never, never give up"
Winston Churchill
Examples of Lapse and Relapse:
*Lapse - eating one cookie on a given evening when you are trying to break this old habit.
*Relapse - eating several cookies for several days in a row, reestablishing the old habit that you were attempting to break.
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About the Author
Mariana Parreiras is a Personal Trainer and Weight Management Consultant from Brazil who works in Northern Virginia. To learn more about Mariana, click here.
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